The Punishment of a Mad Man
by AshenGrace
Summary: Loki had been defeated. And by 'them'. Now, he must face Odin and receive a "just punishment". But the punishment is not as "just" as Thor or Loki thought it would be. Trials that push the boundaries of both mental and physical plains. As Odin puts it, the punishment of a mad man. AU taking place after the first Avengers movie. This is my first fic so please review!
1. Muzzled

Cool metal pressed against his mouth, tight and latched under his jaw to keep him from so much as uttering a word. All he could do was try to express himself through his body language. And right now, he was expressing anger and defiance. He stood tall, glaring at the Avengers as they seemingly mocked him. Loki, the God of Mischief, had lost.

And to _them._

He tried to adjust his jaw, but to no prevail. It was very uncomfortable and unsettling, and now he began to feel it dig into his skin. The edges of the muzzle felt sharper and tighter than before, and he kept trying to move his mouth to stop the discomfort. That only made it worse. He felt warm liquid starting to seep into the cover. He wanted to find a way to tell someone, to show them, but he couldn't let them know that they hurt him. He had already been beaten, the last of his dignity would be gone if he started whining and showed weakness. So, he tried to block out the blood beginning to fill the mask.

He looked around. Knowing he couldn't teleport with the handcuffs he was put in, Thor had strayed a bit to say the last of his goodbyes to each of his friends personally. Though they were all talking to one another, Loki could feel each of their eyes on him. He took some pride in that even though they knew he couldn't escape, they still believed in their gut that he was powerful and would find a way.

He smiled slightly, only to be stopped by a searing pain. They blood flowed a little faster. _Damn it._ He tried to keep his composure as Thor turned to him, getting the Tesseract ready to go back to Asgard. As the blood began to pass his lips, he squeezed them tightly together, as to not swallow and choke on the warm, thick liquid. Thor held out the Tesseract, and Loki took hold of one of the golden handles as Thor turned it. And with that, they were home.

Now that they were away from the Avengers, Loki let his guard down slightly. He still hated Thor, but at least he knew him. The blood was still going, not being able to let the cuts heal because of the metal that still dug into his face. Loki started panicking. His hands started fidgeting, and he hadn't realized until now that his wrists were raw. He tried to focus on keeping his mouth shut, keeping his hands still, and getting enough air into his lungs with only his nose. It was too much. He started breathing heavier and quicker, the panic getting to his brain. Thor, who had been leading him to where Loki would soon face his judgement, noticed the ragged breathing and turned to his brother. He saw a fear in Loki's eyes that he hadn't seen up close in quite a while.

"Loki, what is wrong?" Loki just glared at him.

"Brother? What is troubling you? Tell me."

Just then, Loki faltered a bit, feeling dizzy because of the stress and lack of air. Thor had been still worried about him, even after what he'd done. Loki relaxed his mouth a bit. He instantly regretted it. The blood trailed into his mouth and forced itself into the back of his throat. His body's initial reaction was to get the liquid out, but with the damned muzzle on, it kept forcing itself deeper and deeper into his body. Thor saw the distress in his little brother's face and dived towards him, just as he started to fall forwards. He couldn't really tell what was happening. Tears streamed from Loki's tightly shut eyes as he held his throat with one hand and his chest with the other, pushing hard on it.

"Loki?!" Thor half-yelled, holding the smaller man's head up with his hands. He heard a strangled sound, almost like if someone were screaming under water. Loki opened his eyes and looked up at him. It hadn't seemed possible, but they were a brighter green than before, they looked just like polished emeralds. And they would've been absolutely perfect if it weren't for the tears running from them, the pleading and terrified look Thor couldn't remember Loki every using towards him since they were small children.

Loki raised his hand from his chest and slapped at the muzzle as his body started convulsing. Thor realized a dark red line lining all the way around his brother's mouth and he understood. Thor reached for the button Tony had given him to release the muzzle. He pushed it and the mask came off with a pop, a pool of red following it. Loki immediately turned and retched up the blood that had assaulted his lungs and throat. He felt his whole body shaking from fear, and silently cursed himself for acting this way in front of his not-brother right before his body gave out.

Thor shuffled over to where Loki lay in a heap. His brother was still awake, but far too exhausted to even move a finger. There were lines all around his mouth, still slightly dripping from his face. They would probably need stitches. _How could this have happened? It was fine when we put it on at first…_ Thor turned over the button and a switch that said "Adjust". Thor tried to move it, but it would only move the way to tighten it. It must've gotten bumped here and there, tightening it where it wouldn't fit. Thor felt a stab of guilt for not realizing the mistake earlier. He knew something was probably up, Loki had been uncomfortably shifting and moving his hand up to his jaw when he thought no one was looking. Thor looked back at him. His eyes were closed. Thinking that he'd passed out, Thor jostled him.

"Brother? Are you alright?" Loki opened his eyes and looked up into Thor's eyes. Those damned guilty, pitying blue eyes.

"I'm fine, you imbecile." Is what Loki tried to say. But it came out as, "I- (gasp) fine… you imb- (cough) -acile…" And then a session of coughing up left over blood. His chest hurt terribly, and his threat was raw. The scars along his mouth stung, and felt like they were being poked with tiny needles. Obviously, Loki's statement of being okay didn't convince his not-brother. He seemed like he was contemplating what to do before he reached down and started to pick him up.

"What in Valhalla's name are you doing?!" Loki yelled. He squirmed around in Thor's arms for a second before he reluctantly released him. Though trying to put him down softly, Loki pushed against him in the last second and landed on his stomach with a thud. The impact made him wheeze and cough, though he reckoned that the other god had not heard it, because he didn't rush over and start treating him like a helpless infant. Before he could say anything, Loki turned to Thor and glared at him with his cat-like green eyes. He stood up on his own, his body pretty much over the trauma. But the scars on his mouth didn't heal, thought they had stopped bleeding. He could make a pretty good guess that the shackles he wore prevented him from even healing. After he stood, he turned to Thor and raised his head up and started walking strongly, showing that he was not the weakling everyone thought he was. Showing that he was still the powerful, dangerous villain he had fought against not even a day ago. Thor understood the message and sighed, catching up to his younger brother and walking towards where Odin was awaiting their arrival.

Towards Loki's punishment.


	2. Monster

Guards gathered near as Loki and Thor approached Odis's throne. The mighty king looked down upon his boys, one looking tired and sad and one who stood tall and defiant. He could see that Thor was truly saddened about the situation, that his brother had still not became good. While he was showing his real emotions, Loki was not. Odin had learned to see past Loki's illusions, and could see his adopted son's fear.

The longer Odin looked at him, his mindset about the boy went from son, to Asgardian, to Frost Giant, to disappointment, to nothing. All his good memories with the youngest started melting away, only to be replaced with the thought of how many times Loki had screwed up. How many people he's killed. How many places he's destroyed.

This was no son of his.

As Loki stood before Odin, he first saw sadness. Loki wanted to drop down, say he was sorry and beg for forgiveness. But this was not his father. This was not his king. So he forced himself to look into Odin's unmasked eye. Then he saw something he had only seen in his nightmares. That eye suddenly became empty, like a hollow shell. It glazed over and stared into Loki's eyes, unblinking. He found himself starting to tremble, the corners of his vision were blurry. He realized he wanted to cry. He wanted his father, and his mother… and even his big brother. Nothing else mattered. Loki was about to break just as he saw a shift in Odin's eye. There was a red hot burning rage. No more sadness or sediment. Only pure anger and revenge. Loki caught his tongue in time before he admitted he wanted his family.

He realized it was too late.

"Loki Laufeyson." Odin said with a boom. Both Thor and Loki went rigid. Their father had never used that title for Loki. Ever.

"You have been given multiple chances on multiple occasions. I cannot bear with this cycle any longer. It is time you learn…" He stood up and started walking towards Loki, his voice getting louder and scarier.

"It is time you learn that you cannot kill innocent people!" Odin neared Loki, walking faster. Loki tried to retreat backwards by instinct.

"It is time you learn that you cannot destroy planets!" Odin shoved Loki, who fell back on his knees. Loki was visibly shaking now.

"It is time you learn that you cannot keep tearing MY family apart!" Odin emphasized the 'my'. Loki wasn't part of it anymore. Odin grabbed the god by his chin and pulled his head up to his own. Loki could feel hot breath on his face, his and Odin's noses only centimeters apart.

"It is time you learn cannot be and will never be king!"

With that, Odin pulled Loki up and dragged him to the throne and threw him in front of it. There were tears streaming down his face, and he struggled to breathe. Thor was frozen in place, knowing not to interfere but not agreeing with this discipline.

It was when Odin sat down in the throne, looked Loki straight in the eye, and said "You are no son of mine. You never have been. You were only a pawn. And now, you're not even that. Every world would be better without your existence." And kicked Loki in the face with such force that it threw him across the room, that Thor had had enough.

The oldest' mind suddenly went blank as he saw his father kick Loki in the face, sending him flying. Loki stayed where he had been thrown to, either choosing not to get up or not being able to. The only thing that had been for certain is that Odin had crossed the line. Discipline was one thing, making someone feel like nothing and then causing them mental and physical pain was another. Thor would've ran over to check on Loki first, but right now he was fuming. He turned to Odin with anger he had not felt in a long while. He began stomping over to him, grasping Mjolnir in his hand. Odin saw his son's fury and became more frustrated. Why could Thor not see that Loki was a monster? He simply stood from the throne and looked him in the eye.

"Know your place, Thor. You need to see what Loki is. You need to stop pretending he's your brother." Thor suddenly stopped, dropping his hammer. His anger drained, only to be replaced with a sadness so overwhelming that he fell to his knees.

"Why, father? What has become of you…" Thor whispered. Odin pretended not to hear.

Guards came into the room to lock Loki away so that Odin, Thor, and Frigga could discuss a punishment. But everyone knew, it wouldn't be a decision or compromise made by the three of them. It would be one made by Odin.


	3. Sunsets and Apples

"I will not allow it." Odin said, staring at the wall ahead.

"But he is our son!" Frigga shouted, frustrated at her husband. His arrogance and pride was clouding his judgement. She wanted to knock some sense into the old fool, but she just stood clenching her fists.

"He is not our son, Frigga! He is a Frost Giant! A monster! I cannot believe how I could've been so blind as to think him as anymore than that." Odin yelled in frustration. Why couldn't they see that Loki was an endangerment to them? To Asgard? To even the whole if the Nine Realms? They were living in past memories of the small boy who was once a prince. Now he was a criminal.

Thor stood watching his parents argue. He had tried to speak his mind many times now, only to be interrupted or ignored by both. When he couldn't bear the yelling and fighting and his own father calling his brother a mistake anymore, he left. No one tried to stop him, he seriously doubted that they noticed at all. He would deal with the decision of Loki's punishment later, all he needed right now was to see the younger man. To reassure himself that it was still his brother like he fiercely believed. The little boy who had acted like he was independent, yet followed Thor around everywhere he went. The little boy who was so fascinated with magic, and who had always been so excited to show Thor his new tricks.

The little boy that he loved.

The little boy Thor hoped still loved him.

Walking down to the dungeon, he fondly thought of memories he had with Loki. One of his favorites was when the youngest had been so keen on being by himself all day, not spending any time with his brother. He had said he was grown up now and didn't need him. Throughout the day while Thor walked around Asgard, he would catch glimpses of the black-haired boy behind him. Whenever he confronted him about it, Loki would say that Thor thought too highly of himself, that he was being self centered to think that he would even want to trail him. It wasn't until Thor bought a bag full of juicy, red apples then went to watch the sunset that the kid had tentatively walked up to him then sat next to him, taking an apple and not saying a word. They hadn't spoke the entire time until they got home and started heading to their bedchambers.

"Goodnight, Thor. I love you." Was the only thing that was spoken that night. Loki gave Thor a small smile then hugged him, and then went to go sleep. It was the best night of Thor's childhood.

Loki sat in his cell, staring at the ceiling. His head hurt like hell after being kicked, and he couldn't stop replaying his father's words in his head.

 _You are no son of mine. You never have been. You were only a pawn. And now, you're not even that. Every world would be better without your existence._

He had said the words so coldly, not hesitating to say any of it. He meant it. Odin truly hated him. Loki would be surprised if his punishment wasn't death.

Just then, he heard the door to the dungeon open. He heard thunderous footsteps nearing his cell and realized who it was with a groan.

Thor came up to his brother's cell and winced subconsciously. Loki's face was lined with bruises. There was a huge dark blue-green one and a split lip in result of being kicked. The scars around his mouth had mostly healed, leaving only faint pink lines. Loki sneered at Thor for looking so pitying, and Thor saw that his mouth had been bleeding too. Loki spit the blood out on the ground and turned away from the other god.

"So, what have you decided?" Loki asked Thor questionably. Thor had almost forgot the whole ideal had been real. Almost.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully.

"Then why are you here?"

Thor was a bit taken aback. Didn't his brother know that he cared about what happened to him? Odin may not, but Thor surely did.

"Because you are my brother, and I wanted to make sure you were alright." Loki turned back to him, and Thor thought he saw a flicker of hope, a flicker of _love_ , in his eyes. But the trickster quickly masked it, wanting to slap himself for lowering his guard. Cause even if it was for merely a second, he knew Thor would've seen it.

"That and also, and I hate to say it, but your chances aren't looking good, brother." Despite himself, he winced. He'd been expecting a cruel punishment, but actually hearing that it might happen was a whole new thing.

"What does Frigga have to say about the matter" Loki had been kind of anxious to see where she would stand in all this.

"She is against giving you a punishment at all, but I think we both know she sadly won't be able to have an effect on Odin's mindset."

As if on cue, two guards swung the door open and were a little surprised to see Thor's presence. They demanded Thor return to his father while they got Loki. But Thor refused to leave without his brother. The guards then opened the cell to retrieve Loki, who couldn't deceive them without his magic, so he just let them take him. They were very aggressive, and Loki thought his father must've not given them orders to lay off. In fact, it was more likely he told them to be rough.

While on guard kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't try anything, the other circled around behind him and kicked the backs of his knees, causing his legs to give out quite painfully. The guard then took Loki's hands and putting the handcuffs on his already raw wrists. He tightened them so the didn't even budge. Then of course he brought out the damned muzzle, and with a smile. He must've known what happened. From the guilty little look on Thor's face, he knew Thor must've mentioned it. While the guard put it on, Loki pretended he didn't mind. But as it got tighter, he felt his stomach flip. Remembering his own blood being forced down his airway, the sharpness digging into his face, it terrified him. He shook his head slightly, trying to shake the feeling. The guard seemed to like him squirm and tightened it more. He felt the scars break open again and felt warm drops forming on the rim of the mask. He tried to tell him to stop, but he could not speak.

Thor watched as the guard knocked his brother down to his knees, then putting his hands in the cuffs, he knew he should do something, but he also knew anything that he did do would only make it worse for Loki in the end. So, just just watched. Then they brought out the muzzle. He felt his blood run cold as he remembered when his little brother had fallen, struggling to breathe and speak as Thor tried to figure out what was wrong. Then seeing the blood, taking the retched thing off to reveal angry red lines lining his brother's mouth and jaw. The guilt of realizing that they thing had been tightening around his brother but being too big of an oaf to realize he was in pain. He so badly wanted to help, but then again, that would make things worse.

Thor watched the man put the muzzle on Loki, and at first thought the youngest would be fine. He seemed to not care. But Thor also knew of his facades. Then Loki glanced over at Thor, his brilliant green eyes bearing into him, and he knew Loki was in hell. When the guard began to tighten the thing to fit, Loki started shaking. He shook his head as if he were saying "no". Thor suddenly saw a shift in the guard's expressing, and a sickening smile flashed across his face. Loki's eyes filled with panic as he just sat there, not knowing how to stop anything from happening. Thor saw blood welling up on the metal, and Loki squeezed his eyes shut in fear and pain. The sicko's eyes lit up. Thor had had enough.

"Hey, are you daft?!" He screeched, rushing over and smacking the button out of the guards hand then pushing him to the ground. Thor hovered over him, holding Mjolnir to his face threateningly. The guard's smile instantly disappeared and his face went as white as a sheet.

"I-I-I'm sorr-ry your maj-asty." He stuttered. Thor simply threw him out of the cell and grabbed the button, forcing it to loosen. The mask fell from Loki's face and he gasped for air, not being able to get enough in during his panic-filled state. Thor lifted him up gently and inspected his face, Loki being too dazed to do anything about it. He seemed fine, just little dots of blood here and there. Thor wiped it away despite his brother's weary glare.

"Come on, Loki. As much as it pains me to say, it is time to face father."

Loki lowered his head but nodded. He kept his eyes down the entire walk while Thor walked alongside him. He was terrified of what awaited him. They both were.


	4. Odin's Judgement

**Hey guys! I want to start by thanking you for reading my story! I've gotten lovely reviews and it make sure me really really happy to see people enjoying!**

 **Also, I'm sorry this chapter is pretty short. I'm going to try to post the next chapter today also since this is short, but I can't promise.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

Frigga stood by her husband as her sons approached them. She gasped as she saw the state of her youngest. He had bruises all over his face, a nasty one on his head. He had a split lip and weird lines around his mouth and jaw. She'd ask Thor about it later. Loki was a pale greenish color, like he was going to be sick. She honestly didn't blame him. She couldn't remember a time that Odin had ever been this full of rage. Frigga didn't understand how the old man couldn't grasp that this was still the boy they raised, even if he had somehow lost sight of love along the way. The gods stopped and looked at their parents. Both looking terrified.

"Loki Laufeyson." Odin started, ignoring the look Frigga gave him as he used the surname.

"You have committed many wrongs. Destroying, killing. Deceiving everyone, including us. We used to think of you as our own, but you are no longer. You are a disgrace and a fool. A monster. And I cannot have a monster roaming free. So I have come to a decision concerning your punishment."

Thor looked to his brother, who was staring at the ground. Loki sensed the other man looking at him, and glanced up. His emerald green eyes stared into Thor's ocean blue ones. Loki didn't bother to put up an illusion to hide his fear. It didn't matter now.

He just couldn't take it...

"The decision I've come to is one that is not subtle. It is one fit for a villain. A monster. The punishment of a mad man."

Loki hated these titles. He winced at the last especially.

"I have put together a series of trials, that concern both mental and physical plains. But be knowing that these trials are not light. You will not have any magic or any weapons. You will be alone. They will test your strategies, choices, and endurance to pain. If you can complete the trials without going crazy, dying, or being unchanged by their impact, you will be free. But afterwards if you make another terrible choice, you will be sentenced to death. That is all."

And with a quick wave of his hand, two guards came up behind Loki and dragged him out the door.

Loki didn't know what to do or think. Odin had acted like he was just another criminal. Like he didn't raise him at all. Like he didn't use to tuck him into bed or comfort him when he was sad.

He had sentenced him to _death._

So he didn't do anything. He didn't think. He allowed himself to be pulled away. The young god felt nothing but numbness that consumed his soul. No one loved him. He was alone.

The woman who coddled him and fussed over him was frozen.

The boy who played with him and taught him could do nothing.

The man who rescued him and raised him wanted him to suffer.

Before he was out of the room, there were three things he heard. Three things to break his soul. Each thing would echo in his head throughout the night, not allowing him to sleep...

Crying.

Shouting.

"You start tomorrow."


	5. Brothers Once More

Loki sat in his cell, trying to come to terms with what was to happen to him. His father's words assaulted his brain.

 _I have put together a series of trials, that concern both mental and physical plains. But be knowing that these trials are not light. You will not have any magic or any weapons. You will be alone. They will test your strategies, choices, and endurance to pain. If you can complete the trials without going crazy, dying, or being unchanged by their impact, you will be free. But afterwards if you make another terrible choice, you will be sentenced to death. That is all._

 _That is all?_ That's how he decided to end it?

He couldn't cope with how coldly and non-caring Odin had laid down the punishment. Like it was nothing. Like it just another speech. Like it didn't concern the boy he'd raised as his own.

Loki stood, pacing around. His head still hurt terribly after being kicked, and his lip still bled whenever he moved his mouth. He went over to a wall and slid down it, extremely tired from being over-stimulated and injured. He wanted to sleep forever. He wanted to escape into his dreams where he didn't do so many bad things. Slip into a world where he wasn't a Frost Giant, or a mistake, or a disappointment.

Slip into a word where he didn't exist…

Just then, he heard the banging of the dungeon door. He heard heavy footsteps quickly approaching. Despite only have being in the cell for around twenty minutes, a spike of fear flipped his stomach.

 _It can't be tomorrow already... can it?_

He sighed with relief as a big golden haired man appeared.

Thor approached Loki's cage and looked at his brother. He sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. At first Thor couldn't see if he was awake, but then saw the slit of green from under his eyelids.

"Why are you here, Thor?" Loki croaked. He didn't want to look at him. Now that he had truly been thrown out of the family, he wished to call the other god his brother again. Just to have a sense of purpose. He didn't want to be nothing…

"I wanted to apologize." Thor began guilty, gazing at the floor.

"If I ever knew this is what was to happen to you, I would have never brought you here. Father is out of his mind, he doesn't mean what he is saying to you. Not really. He's not thinking straight, he's just angry and sad. You must understand this."

Loki stood up in an instant, filled with outrage. Was Thor insane? Odin had basically sentenced Loki to _torture_. He also said that he'd _kill_ him if he messed up again. When you're angry and sad, you don't-

Loki stopped. It felt like a giant weight just dropped on him. He felt lightheaded as a sudden realization dawned on him. What Odin was doing is nearly what _he himself_ had been doing under the circumstances of anger and sadness. His breath hitched in his throat.

 _Is this how the people I affect, the people I kill, feel about me?_

Loki couldn't take it, he started sobbing.

Thor watched as his brother had reacted to his statement. First, he was very angry. But just as he was about to spat fire, he froze. His eyes went glossy and his skin went a ghostly white. Then, his brother started sobbing. He fell to the floor, and hugged his knees to his chest.

"Loki, what is wrong?"

Loki looked up at him, very slowly, his eyes looked like they were nearly glowing. His caught his breath and very quietly whispered,

"I am father…"

Thor didn't understand for a second, but then it hit him. Loki had acted out on anger and sadness, just like Odin was doing now. But they had done very different things for very different reasons, even if they were both acting out on the same emotions.

"No, Loki. You are not father. You held anger and sadness because all your life, you felt you were less than me. It seemed that mother and father favored me, and that made you upset. Then you found out that your whole life, you had been lied to. You acted by trying to find a way to be above me, to win the favor of others around you, even if you did so by earning their fear rather than their love."

Thor thought for a moment before continuing.

"Father holds anger because you feel this way, and because of how you handled it. But that's not entirely your fault, it's his and mine and even mother's also. But he's putting all the blame on you. He doesn't see the reasons behind your decisions. He doesn't see that you were and are hurting. So he takes all of our wrongs and tags them on you. And that's not fair. He's purposefully trying to find a way to hurt you, to beat the evil he sees out of you. But he cannot see that that's not the way. He doesn't see that all you need is love and family."

Loki had stopped crying, and he kept his eyes on Thor. He couldn't say anything. He honestly couldn't see how Thor thought that about him. No, how Thor _knew_ that about him. He thought he had been able to keep the illusion strong, to put up walls so no one could see how broken he was. But, obviously that had not been the case with his older brother. And what he said about Odin… Loki didn't think Thor could speak so ill about the old man. And Thor blamed his whole family of Loki's mistakes. He couldn't understand how Thor was so _good_. It made him angry and grateful and amazed at the same time. After all the thinking, Loki felt so incredibly tired, like the universe's force was dragging his eyelids down. He couldn't fight it and let sleep start to take him.

Thor saw as his brother started to nod off to sleep. He reckoned that his brother had heard his speech cause he seemed more happy and free. Thor smiled and slowly walked towards the door. But before he left, he heard something he hadn't heard in an eternity. He had last heard it on the best night of his childhood so long ago.

"Goodnight, Thor. I love you."

And with that, Thor left, tears streaming down his face.


	6. Fears, Goodbyes, and a Box

Loki woke with a start as he felt rough hands jostling him. He shifted, trying to ignore it. Why did his family try to wake him up so early…

"Hey! Wake up, snake!"

Loki was surprised to hear a voice he didn't recognize. Not Thor, not Odin, definitely not Frigga...

When he remembered, his heart leaped in his chest. His stomach did somersaults and his head spiked with a vicious pain. He wanted to scream, cry, and throw up all at once. But he knew he couldn't. He had to stay strong and face his punishment.

Maybe he could try to escape?

He glanced up at the man who was shaking him. The man was nearly three times his size, even bigger than Thor.

 _So much for that idea._

He disguised his fear and glared daggers at the warrior. The man rolled his eyes and yanked the young god to his feet effortlessly. Loki was a but surprised when he was lifted into the air then dropped on his feet. The blood rushing to his head made his unsteady for a second, but then he was fine. He looked up sat the man again, the back of his head touching his back.

 _Odin must've really wanted to make sure I couldn't get out of this._

Loki allowed himself to be chained up like an animal. Cuffs around his ankles, wrists, and neck were closed rather tightly. Instead of a muzzle, which had been forcefully banned by courtesy of Thor, he was gagged. Though it was very uncomfortable and annoying, he'd take it over the metal cover any day. All chained up and "ready" to face punishment, Loki was led through a winding chain of halls. He had never been aware of the passage, and it scared him. The longer they walked, the colder and quieter it got. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they made it to a wide room. In the middle, a box. Like a room within a room. Like a cage.

Loki did not want to find out what was in that box.

His not-family stood waiting for him. Odin stood tall, and kept a cold eye trained on the god. Thor held Frigga's hand, rubbing her palm in circles and trying to calm her. Both of them gazed at Loki filled with sadness and regret. He suspected his face reflected the same.

He was just about to approach them when Odin raised a hand. Loki was jerked back into place then started to be led to the box.

Frigga cried out and lunged towards her son. As Odin reached out to stop her, she hit his hand away. He immediately withdrew it, shocked by his wife.

"Are you so damned cruel that you would not let a mother say goodbye to her son?" She shouted, weeping.

Not waiting for an answer, she ran to Loki and waved the guard away. She immediately took the gag off.

She tried to speak to him, but she fumbled over her words as she stared into his mesmerizing green eyes. She pulled him into a tight embrace.

Loki wasn't sure what to do. He wanted so badly to despise his family. That would make it so much easier...

"Enough." Odin announced. There was a twinge of something else in his eye. Something other than hate. Loki couldn't grasp what it was, for it only flickered for a second. Thor stood in the background watching, frozen.

"Wait!"

Thor spoke up just as Loki started to believe the other man hated him as well. Thor quickly walked over and pulled Loki into a hug. Yes, he knew it was a rather bold move. But he didn't care.

To much surprise, Thor felt cool hands return the gesture.

Loki couldn't hold it any longer. He was so scared and he didn't want to be in pain. He had tried to tell himself that he deserved it, but he honestly didn't know what was in store for him. He broke down in his big brother's arms, which wrapped tighter around him. Loki's legs felt weak and he slowly let them give out, both him and Thor lowering down onto the ground. While Loki sobbed, Thor stroked his hair.

It was just like when Loki used to have nightmares as a kid. He would try to put on a strong face when he woke up and went to tell Thor. He never wanted to, but it always made him feel better to see his brother. Loki would start telling Thor what the dream was about, but it would end with them asleep in a loose hug, both with tear stains down their cheeks.

Suddenly, Loki felt a tug. He didn't move. Then it was harder, ripping in from Thor's arms. He flailed as he tried to regain himself, but he found that he was being dragged. He saw a crying Frigga being held back by the Allfather. A guard was on top of Thor, trying to restrain him. He saw that Thor was yelling something, but he couldn't make out what. Everything was just ringing. He struggled and wriggled, but to no avail. Then it happened.

He was shoved into the box. All the walls were white, with no light or shadows or anything. Loki couldn't even tell how far the walls reached, it seemed infinite. It was completely silent. He felt numb.

So numb…


	7. Only an Illusion

Loki stared ahead.

 _Or was it ahead? Was it up, down, left, or right? Was he on the floor or the walls or the ceiling or nowhere at all…?_

The walls were messing with his head. The way there were no shadows, no shading or highlights, it screwed him up. He had been frozen in the spot he was left in, not knowing what to do or even how to move. He barely even noticed when the chains he was once tangled in disappeared.

 _What the…_

Loki looked down at himself. The chains were indeed gone. He could move his arms, his legs, and his neck without restraint. He even would have said it was paradise if not being in his current situation.

Taking a deep breath in, he decided it was time to move. He needed to know his surroundings in case something happened. Cause judging by the was his shackles just evaporated into thin air, things were not going to be normal.

He took a few steps, and it really felt like nothing. When he moved, it didn't seem like he was moving. He began walking faster when he still didn't touch anything. He started panicking, his brain didn't know what to think about this impossible room. Without a reference point, there was no purpose.

Until he smacked face first into a wall.

He hit harder than he would've expected. It didn't seem like he was going that fast. But then again, it didn't seem like logic applied here.

Or maybe it was just him...

0o0o0o0

Thor had tried so hard. He couldn't bear it when they ripped his little brother from his arms. He had tried so hard to help him…

The guard who had been crushing him moments before let off when the brute who dragged his brother away threw him into the cell. He felt sick when he saw that the man had the faintest bit of a smile on his face.

Odin had made Thor leave Mjolnir behind in case the god went crazy and attacked the people harming Loki. He would call on the hammer, but he was angry now and it would take a moment too long to reach him.

Thor stood from where he was collapsed and his fist collided with the guard's jaw. He felt a glimmer of satisfaction when he saw blood glistening where he had struck. He stared at Thor with shock, and anger. But he also knew the Allfather was standing there watching. Though Thor wanted to almost destroy this man, he backed down when he realized it'd only make matters worse…

For himself and Loki.

Thor turned to his parents.

Frigga stared at the ground, eyes red and puffy. Usually looking strong and powerful, the queen now looked frail and broken. Her son, no matter what he did, her youngest _son_ was in deep trouble. She knew it.

Odin still stood tall with power and poise.

For the first time ever, he truly wanted the old man gone.

It wasn't like when him and Loki were kids when they'd get scolded for stealing and taking food to Thor's bedchamber, hiding under the blankets as to not get caught. They'd laugh silently as they heard the angry footsteps of the woman in charge of preparing the feast pass by the door. They'd snatch each other' s food while the other was not looking, which led to some mild bickering after Thor stole one of Loki's apples. Loki had been showing Thor some of his magic when the door slammed open. They had been found out and banned from the feast, and Loki had to go to his own bedchamber. They had to go to bed early and stay in their rooms the next day.

Thor, in his childlike way, had wished Odin was gone. That him and Loki could run around all day and night, eating food and dueling. Wanting to see more of Loki's magic, which he made fun of for being "girly" but he truly thought it was wonderful. But as he crawled into bed, he forgave his father.

At least he got the look of childhood betrayal when he stole Loki's apple…

But those days are over. As much as it hurt him to admit it to himself, it would never be that way again.

The ambitious blonde little boy with blue eyes was now locked in a war within his own family.

The mischievous raven-haired little boy with green eyes was now basically facing torture at his father's hand.

 _How did it get this bad?_

0o0o0o0

Loki had been following the walls around and found that the room was not very large. If he jumped, he could tough something that almost felt like a ceiling. He knew that he'd have to try to keep track of how far he stepped away from each wall with every step if he wanted to be cautious. It was exhausting, though.

After only about what seemed like ten minutes, he gave up on that. He kept losing count and thought it was driving him to insanity.

 _Maybe this was one of the tests?_

No, it was too easy.

Sadly, Loki already knew that the trials would be more difficult and harsh, though being in a completely white box where you can't tell where you are or even if you're really moving was not very comfortable.

After trying to measure out where everything was, his head was throbbing. He decided to lay down and try to get rid of it. When something 'did' happen, he had to be ready and extra vigilant. When he closed his eyes and everything went dark, he felt slightly relieved. No more white walls…

Just when he was about to fall asleep, he felt something touch the bottoms of his feet. He opened his eyes and as he went to stand up, there was no ground to push on. He was standing again.

 _But I never stood? I would've known if I did..._

Loki tried to sleep again. The same thing happened.

After the cycle repeated each time he laid down, Loki gave up. Though rest was much needed, apparently he couldn't receive it. So, he just stood, trying to be aware of everything happening. He reached up to stretch, and he found himself touching the top of the room.

"But that's…"

He was about to say "impossible" but he knew better now.

He reached out his fingers, and felt the walls.

 _The room was getting smaller._

Or again, was it just him?

No, it was closing in on him. They seemed to close faster each time he panicked.

 _This cannot be happening. This will kill me. Was this just a trap? To make me run into my own death?_

The walls were almost to his shoulders.

 _No. After what I did I can tell he wants me to suffer. If he going to break my body and leave me until I heal? Or is he just making me believe that?_

The ceiling touched his head.

 _Is this a mental or physical trial? Do I have to worry about my body or my sanity?_

Now, it was all squeezing him. He tried to calm himself and push back. But the walls were too strong an he was too weak.

0o0o0o0

Thor stood in the room, staring at his brother's prison. When Frigga had tried to get him to leave with her, he refused. Odin had stayed, and stood in the back. Thor was almost glad the Allfather stayed.

If he heard something happening to Loki, he could punch him until he agreed to set him free.

They had sat in complete silence. Thor's eyes were trained on the box. Odin's was trained on him. The big, terrible guard who had ripped his little brother away from him stood in front of the entrance.

After what seemed like forever, Thor heard something coming from the box.

He ran over to it, and listened. It was muffled, but it sounded like panicking. Like Loki kept whining like a hurt puppy, and he sounded afraid. Suddenly, something completely unexpected happened.

The box became glass.

Thor watched in horror, not knowing what was happening.

Loki was curled up in a ball on the ground, like an invisible force was crushing him. His face was twisted in a mix of fear and pain. He looked like he was whispering, but Thor couldn't make out the words. He also realized that Loki couldn't see him. He turned to Odin.

"What is happening to him?!" He shouted. He wanted answers now, or he just might strangle the old man.

Odin, creepily calm, responded.

"It is a test, to see if he can keep himself under control. The more he panics, the tighter the walls get. They will feel like they are crushing him until he can regain himself and push them away. They do not truly hurt his body, it is only an illusion."

Odin said it like it was nothing. Like it was okay because it wasn't really causing harm to his body. But that didn't matter at the moment. Loki was in _pain._ Why couldn't the king see that his son did not deserve this?

No one did.

Thor again couldn't do anything. He was helpless, and that made him feel worthless. He could only watch his little brother struggle and hope that Loki would be able to figure out the puzzle.


	8. Solution

**Hey guys! I am so sorry I haven't posted in a while and that this chapter is pretty short. I have Finals coming up (ugh) and family in town for Thanksgiving. Also, my birthday's tomorrow! Screw turkey, it's my day!**  


 **Anyway, thank you so so much for reading! Reading all the reviews makes me so happy and giddy! Enjoy!**

Loki was curled up as tight as his body would allow, the walls crushing him.

His ribs were breaking against each other but _he wouldn't die._

His insides were mush but _he still wouldn't die._

The pain only made him more scared. When he thought the room couldn't get any smaller, it did. He couldn't do this but he _had_ to and he couldn't escape but he _needed_ to. His thoughts rushed, assaulting his brain and invading his body. He couldn't think straight and he couldn't breathe right and he couldn't speak.

He wanted to cry, to cry out for his family. For his brother-

That was it.

 _Thor._

Loki's thoughts stopped. Everything stopped. For a moment, nothing existed except the memories of two little boys getting into trouble and running around and _loving each other._

The day he followed Thor around after denying he needed him but he _did_ need him.

The day his brother bought apples and watched the sunset and it ended with them _together._

The day he told Thor that he loved him.

Suddenly, all of Loki's fears fleeted. There was no box, no white walls. No hateful father and no mourning mother. Just _Thor._

The crushing stopped.

Loki felt free. He could move his body and his mind didn't feel contained. He remembered the time him and his brother had stolen food and hid under the covers in Thor's bedchamber. When Thor stole his apple and he had humorously felt utter betrayal.

All fun and games until they were caught by Odin and Frigga.

 _Odin._

Loki's heart dropped and he started feeling crushed again. But this time he knew the trick.

He let his mind wander back to his childhood and remembered the life he had before all of _this._

Before all the hate and the jealousy and the fighting. When he and Thor were just little boys. When he and Thor were brothers.

 _Sunset. Following. Thor. Apples. Covers. Hiding. Laughing. Magic. Brothers_

And with those words, the walls completely lifted off him and he was free. Though he had already solved the puzzle, he kept repeating the words. He didn't even realize when he started saying them out loud.

"Sunset. Following. Thor. Apples. Covers. Hiding. Laughing. Magic. Brothers"

Loki also didn't notice when he started crying.

0o0o0o0

Odin had finally, after what seemed like an entire lifetime, left. Thor didn't know if it was because he felt guilty, tired, or if he just couldn't bear the sight of Loki anymore. Thor guessed it wasn't the first option.

He still stayed where he had been pressed up against the box, eyeing Loki. His little brother also still sat in the same place, crunched up and shaking.

Thor could tell that he was scared and in pain, and he willed him to understand the puzzle.

Almost like magic, and it being Loki it could have very well been, the young god stopped shaking and relaxed a little. His eyelids were no longer squeezed shut, and his teeth no longer clenched.

After a moment, Thor could see his brother completely relax.

He didn't know exactly how Loki had saved himself, but he had.

Thor studied him, checking just to make sure there were no real physical injuries. Suddenly, Loki's mouth started moving, like he was talking.

He pressed his ear up against the box, trying to hear what he was saying. He could only make out a little.

"Sun-et. Follow-ng. Thor. Ap-les. Cov-rs. Hid-ng. Laugh-ng. Ma-ic. Brothers."

While most of the words swam in and out, he could make out two loud and clear.

"Thor" and "Brothers".

Thor could guess the words that were being said, too. They brought back memories of his childhood, and he guessed it did the same for Loki. Maybe that's how the other god had calmed himself.

He couldn't help himself and he started tearing up and crying.

He looked up to see his brother reflecting the same.

 _I swear, brother. I will find a way to save you, and I will not stop for anything until you are in my arms again._


	9. Happy, for a Moment

Thor woke up suddenly, heart racing. He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep, and uncomfortably pulled himself up. He rubbed his eyes and stretched.

He wondered how much time had gone by.

He looked in the box to check on Loki, heart dropping when he saw the young god drooped over, but still awake.

Thor's suspicions of his brother not getting any rest were confirmed as Loki lifted his head and rested it on his knees, which were curled up at his chest.

His eyes were brimmed with red. The dark purple circles under his eyes were a stark contrast to his pale skin. And the pale skin was a stark contrast to his now messy, tangled raven hair. Basically, he looked terrible.

 _I swear, Odin… I will-_

He heard footsteps behind him, and turned around.

 _Speak of the devil…_

Odin stood before him, looking tired but not nearly as much as Loki.

Just as Thor was about to tear into him, Odin lowered his head and spoke softly.

"I have decided that you shall be able to visit Loki once every few days, but only for a few minutes. But this does not change his punishment. You will not bring him food, water, or any object at any time. No books, pillows, no new clothes. And when you're told to leave, you will do so. Is that understood?"

Thor's heart leaped. His couldn't speak so he just nodded. It infuriated him that Odin wasn't giving Loki his basic needs, but it was masked with joy right now. He didn't want to defy Odin or else he might change his mind.

"Okay, good. And if you break any of these rules, I will have Heimdall to consult me. You will worsen Loki's punishment and you will receive your own."

Without waiting for Thor to agree or disagree with him, Odin looked to the guard at the cell's door and bowed his head. The guard gestured for Thor to come over and he did.

Then, the box opened.

0o0o0o0

Loki sat on the floor, not knowing what to do. He had figured out the hard way that the box seemed to shift whenever he tried to lay down.

He found out the even harder way that whenever he started to fall asleep the world started spinning and flashing colors.

He had almost thrown up a couple of times.

So he sat there in silence, unmoving. He let his eyes wander around the room, trying to picture what it'd look like as a normal room. Or a beach. Or at least something other than the blinding, unending white.

His head hurt terribly and his eyes burned. He felt hot and cold at the same time and he almost wanted to rip his own throat out. But he didn't. He was too much of a _coward_.

His stomach rumbled and his tongue was as dry as one of Midgard's deserts. He would kill for something to eat and drink.

But the past had shown that he'd kill for much less. And that's what landed him here in the first place.

He didn't understand exactly why he did it. It's not like he truly _enjoyed_ it. It might give his a bit of a rush, yes. But it never made him _happy_.

He sighed. He'd think about that later. He was too tired right now.

Maybe he could just drown in the spinning and colors and never come back...

Yes. That'd be nice...

All of a sudden, he heard something. It seemed deafening since he'd been sitting in silence for... well, who knows how long?

He turned his head and jumped to see someone standing there, staring at him.

He had seen nothing open or close, the man just appeared.

His vision was blurred from the lack of sleep and from previous tears, but as the man got closer he could make out the blond, wavy hair and deep blue eyes.

 _Thor._

0o0o0o0

Thor stepped into the box, expecting some sort of a reaction from Loki. Maybe not a hug or anything, but _something_ happy.

But the god just squinted at him like he had grown a second head or something.

Thor cautiously walked forwards, not sure of what mental state Loki was currently in. He sighed with relief when Loki's eyes widened as he seemed to realize who was approaching him.

Loki went to stand and run over when his knees buckled under him. It could've been from exhaustion or the fact that he had been sitting with his legs curled up against him for a very long time.

Or maybe both.

But as he fell, his brother caught him and lowered him down. Then of course in his usual fashion, he gave him a bear hug.

Loki wanted to be hugged, but his body didn't agree with it. He was still pretty sore from nearly being crushed, but how could Thor know that? So he just let himself be hugged, not really having the strength to hug back.

"Oh, brother. It has only been two days but I've missed you so!"

 _Two days?_

That didn't sound right.

"Two… days?"

It felt like Loki had been trapped for way more than two days. Like he'd been awake for two _weeks_.

"Uh, yes. If I'm correct. I'm not entirely sure, but it has to be around there." Thor responded, trying to ignore the raspiness of Loki's voice.

 _Why can't he get any water?_

They sat for a moment, just sitting in relief that they were together. Loki didn't realize how much he missed his big brother. How good it felt to see his face instead of unending whiteness.

"Loki..."

Thor broke the silence.

"I-"

But he didn't get to continue.

Thor was suddenly dragged backwards, right into the white wall. But he went through it as if it were water…

Loki got up and ran, ignoring the pain in his bones. He willed his legs to work as he ran to where Thor had vanished, but he smashed into a solid surface. And hard.

Loki fell to the ground as his nose throbbed. He put a finger up to it and then looked at it.

 _Blood._

It hurt but the pain of his brother being torn away hurt much more.

He couldn't help himself. He screamed.

"No!"

0o0o0o0

Thor whipped around to the hand that had dragged him away from his panicking little brother. It was the damned guard again.

"I wasn't finished!"

"Allfather's orders. You're to leave when told to."

"Yeah! When _told_ to!"

Thor was about to tear into him but he caught sight of Loki standing and running towards the now-shut door. Thor was confused for a moment but then realized with a jolt that the walls looked infinite from inside the box, and there seemed to be no door.

He knew what was coming next, but he still felt almost physical pain himself when it happened.

Loki smashed into the wall at his current full-speed.

Thor saw the gush of bright red start to pour out from his brother's nose, and he could only assume it was broken. But Loki didn't seem to care.

He could hear his brother say a word of despair. And this time, it wasn't faint or hard to hear.

No, it was screamed.

And it was enough to make even the guard's stone cold heart break a little.


	10. No Control

**Sorry this is a bit of a shorter one, I wanted to get a chapter out and felt like this was the best place to leave off! And I have Finals tomorrow, so I wanted to finish this before I got engulfed in that.**

 **Thank you for the reviews and follows, enjoy! 3**

Loki was alone.

And once again, the silence was deafening.

He couldn't decide if seeing his brother then having him torn away was more painful than not seeing him at all.

A few hours passed. Or minutes. He wasn't sure. But his mind finally rested and he became aware of a searing pain that shot through his nose.

He reached his hand up to touch it. At the contact, it erupted in pain. He could feel it was at a slightly wrong angle.

 _Broken._

He tried to push both his physical and emotional pain away, letting his mind rest. Let his eyes become unfocused as he stared ahead.

After a moment of this, he felt more relaxed than he had in literally _forever._ His body felt heavy and it was like he was engulfed in warm, thick water. He wanted to stay like this, where there was no pain and no punishment… but he knew he couldn't.

He had to be ready in case there was someone or something coming for him. He had to be alert. So, before he became completely unaware, he went to stand.

But he realized something was very, very wrong.

He could not move his body at all, and he became more relaxed and his body slowly started to go limp, and against his will he was laid down. He stared up at the ceiling, not being able to blink. He wanted so badly to yell, to even whisper his brother's name.

The state didn't hurt, but that was the scariest part. It was almost _pleasant._

Well, until he figured out this "trial" was doing.

 _He was not in control._

Odin knew he'd always wanted to be in control. Not specifically controlling a kingdom or anything, but controlling himself. He hated not being in control of his own actions or feelings. He always had to know what he was doing and how to do it, and he wouldn't let anyone else tell him what to do and what not to do.

He always knew he was different, so he needed to be his own person.

But he couldn't right now. And that is what Odin intended.

He laid on the ground, body getting heavier and more limp. He couldn't blink, he couldn't breathe, but he still was relaxed and alive. When he thought it couldn't get anymore disturbing, he felt himself falling.

At first it just felt like he was seeping into the floor, which was weird enough, but then he was surrounded by only darkness and he was _falling._

It wasn't like when he fell from the Bifrost, which was slightly painful and fast. No, this was tortuously relaxing, slow, and suffocating. It felt like what he could imagine drowning was like. The thick, black air engulfed him as he kept falling and falling.

Spinning and falling down and down and down and down…

0o0o0o0

Thor sat next to Loki's cell, glaring angrily at the guard from time to time. He anticipated the next time he'd see his little brother, though he had just been with him not even an hour ago.

He had watched Loki sit heartbroken. He just looked around, not knowing what to do. He had stopped crying and yelling, but he still looked crushed.

His nose had developed an ugly looking dark green-purple bruise that seemed to keep spreading each time he looked. It had finally stopped bleeding heavily after around ten minutes, but it still dropped blood every few minutes.

Loki didn't even seem to notice.

He touched it once, but winced and decided against doing it again. He went back to letting his eyes wander.

Thor hadn't noticed right away, but when he really focused back on his brother, he saw that the young god had stopped looking around and playing with his hands. He sat perfectly still.

His posture wasn't tense and alert anymore, he leaned back slightly and his eyes stared ahead. Thor hadn't seen Loki's figure this relaxed in centuries.

He felt happy. Maybe his brother would finally get some sleep after all…

Then his happiness suddenly fled his heart.

He had learned to read his brother well. And he had registered that Loki was relaxed and comfortable by looking at his body, but now he looked at his face.

Expecting to see calmness and relief, he saw fear. His eyes were the only thing that gave those emotions away. Everything else seemed perfect.

Too perfect.

Loki's emerald eyes were widened and unblinking, not moving a millimeter from wherever they were focused at.

Then he started leaning further and further back, as if to lay down. But it was now obvious for the insightful big brother to see that Loki didn't want to lay down.

Thor stood, getting ready to go demand to the guard that he'd be let in. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the other god. He laid all the way down now, and was completely limp. Only his neck remained in a steady position, so that he stared up at the ceiling.

And he wasn't breathing.

After a few moments passed and Loki didn't move or blink, Thor freaked out and decided he'd do anything in his power to get to his brother's side.

He ran over to the guard, ready to fight.

"Let me in this instant!" He practically yelled, balling up his fists. He'd give this guy a fight if-

The guard raised his hand to stop Thor. Then he lowered his head and sighed, closing his eyes.

"When I first got the job to watch your brother, I was ecstatic. I thought that'd I'd get a chance to do something helpful and important. I saw Loki as the Allfather described him… a monster. And I thought I'd be good to treat him like one. I was clearly wrong. I see how much love you have for each other. And though this could have terrible consequences, they won't be worse than his."

And with that, the guard stepped aside and opened the door.

Wanting to thank the guard but not feeling like he had the time to right now, Thor nodded in his direction then proceeded to run over to Loki.

The god still laid unmoving and unbreathing.

As soon as Thor got to him, he only had a second to see the burning bright green eyes before they rolled back into his head. Loki's neck went limp and his head fell to the side.

Thor's heart felt like it truly, physically stopped. But he was reassured that he was alive when it started racing his chest. Not knowing what else to do, Thor started shouting and shaking him.

"Loki? Loki! You've got to wake up, okay? It's not that hard… just open your eyes and everything will be fine! Damn it, Loki, wake up!"

He still did not wake.

But his state changed…

And not for the better.


	11. The Shocking Truth

**Hey guys! I had my creative juices flowing so I decided to give you another chapter sooner than usual!**

 **Also, just a warning, this chapter is a little intense so get ready…**

 **Thank you for everything, you guys make me so happy!**

 **Enjoy!**

Soothing black darkness turned to white hot pain.

Relaxed muscles became tense and rigid.

A once limp, sleeping body now shook violently.

It felt like electricity was bolting through his veins. Like his muscles were being constricted and pulled. Like he would collapse in on himself.

Like death.

Loki's whole frame shook and spasmed uncontrollably, his teeth were clenched together and his eyes were squeezed shut.

He didn't know what it was. One moment, he was falling in an endless dark abyss. And though scared, he was peaceful. He thought that maybe it would have been better that way, that he could hide away from the horrors of his life.

But then the next moment, he felt something touch him. It was soft and comforting, but it shook him with what seemed like fear. Then it touched his jaw. Loki had tried to turn towards the hand, but it was becoming warm. Then it was hot. Then it felt like fire. Then, the fire invaded his body.

He didn't know what to do or what to think. He fell faster and faster, until it was like he fell back into his own _real_ body. He could once again feel the ground and feel the broken nose but he still felt the hands. Everywhere they touched him, it felt like they electrocuted him. He couldn't tell them to stop. His teeth but down on the tip of his tongue, causing his mouth to bleed.

The spasms only got more intense and more constant.

He just wanted it to stop.

 _He'd do anything to make it stop..._

He felt his eyes start to water and his limbs start to cramp.

 _Stop..._

0o0o0o0

Thor stifled a scream.

He had just been bent over his brother, trying to help him and wake him up. He had gently shook him and talked to him. Then he had seen a scar that trailed the bottom of his jawline, and he went to touch it.

He did not know why, he just had always felt inclined to touch and assess his brother's injuries.

He guessed the scar had been from the muzzle.

But almost as soon as he touched the scar, it looked more irritated. It got a slight red color, but it became more red and Loki started shaking.

He didn't know what to do.

The scar only got more red and Thor could almost swear he saw a jolt of electricity travel along it. Concerning as that was, the concern only grew... along with the bright red the seemed to glow under Loki's skin.

Now instead of shaking, he was convulsing.

His back arched and his head thrashed. Thor could see that he was biting in his tongue, but knew he wouldn't be able to get Loki's jaw to unlock off of it.

Not having any knowledge on whatever was happening to his little brother and not knowing what else to do, Thor tried to get Loki to stop spasming. He tried to hold him down. That seemed only to make things worse...

"Stop!"

He heard a man scream from behind him.

He turned and saw the guard rush over and sit next to him. There was a panic in his eyes that Thor never thoughts he'd see from the man.

Then the man touched Loki's neck.

Feeling threatened, Thor punched the guard in the face. He didn't know whether he could trust him, but the fear of his brother's threat being cut or strangled was enough to tip the scale.

The guard looked at Thor with surprise, then held his hands up.

"No weapons, I swear. I just want to help him... I can help him. Please, just trust me. Let me do for Loki what I could not for Abaylin."

Having the judgement to not ask about whoever this "Abaylin" was, Thor just nodded. The man sounded sincere, and besides, he didn't know what else to do besides to trust him. So, he backed away to give him room.

The guard slowly made his way back over, slightly afraid of being socked in the face again. But he replaced his hand on Loki's neck and frowned.

"His pulse is very high. I know how to help him but you have to promise to have faith in what I'm about to do."

Thor didn't move. The man took it as a sign that the brother was too scared and desperate to stop him.

He took out a small knife. Thor realized that he'd lied about having no weapons, but didn't say anything. He wanted to turn away, but he had to make sure the guard didn't kill Loki. Cause if the guy made one wrong move...

The guard slowly brought the knife to Loki's neck, taking a glance at Thor. Then, he cut a small line, being careful to avoid his throat.

While blood did escape, the thing that made the main appearance was bright blue jolts of electricity that shot out and connected to the walls of the box. After jumping around a bit, they finally died out. The guard immediately held a cloth to Loki's neck, slowing the bleeding.

And Loki, while the young god looked dead, at least he didn't seem to be being electrocuted anymore.

His pale frame was completely and disturbingly still, and his head was held up in the guard's arm. The scar's redness faded and became normal again.

He looked terrible, but he was safe.

Thor could see the steady rise and fall of his chest, and though under terrible circumstances, at least Loki now slept.

He made his way closer to his brother and took him from the guard, laying him in his lap and holding him close. He looked up.

"I never got your name." He said breathlessly happy. He smiled.

The man returned the smile.

"Valnyr."

"Well, Valnyr, I cannot thank you enough for this."

He thought for a moment.

"Why did you help? Who's... Abaylin?"

Valnyr sighed.

"He was my younger brother. He died."

Thor looked him. He didn't want to overstep, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"How?"

He expected a glare or a slap, but he got a small, sad smile.

"He died in battle… a hero's death. I fought next to him as he was impaled. I tried to help him, to save him. But he died in my arms. I was useless. He was so young... not much older than Loki."

He paused and gestured toward the god, who still was unmoving, but he was regaining a bit of color.

Hurt, but alive.

Traumatized, but alive.

Alive because of Valnyr.

"After Abaylin's death, I was so angry at everything. Angry at my parents for allowing him to fight. Angry at myself for letting him die. Angry at the entire army for acting like he was just another fallen warrior of no importance. Damn, I was even angry at Odin."

 _That makes two of us._

"When I found out what Loki had done, all I could think was of the people who were killed. They could've had brothers too. I don't know why, but I kind of blamed Loki for Abaylin's fall. And I was mad at him, because I knew he had tried to kill you. I felt like he was not worthy of being a little brother. I thought you would have been the most upset with him. But then you didn't leave his cell. You just watched him and occasionally talked to him, as if he could hear you. You yelled for him. You cried for him. You _fought_ your own father for him. And then I realized that Loki was just terribly misguided. I don't know what happened to him, but I could finally see through him when you two were together. Like magic."

Thor was nearly speechless. But he had one more question.

"How did you know what to do?"

Valnyr looked at Loki guiltily.

"Odin told me… he said he had used magic to curse the muzzle. When I put it on Loki that day in the dungeon, it was to cast the spell on him. The spell was one that would link two people. One the prisoner, and one the punisher. When the prisoner was cut with the enchanted item and the caster of the spell chose the punisher, the prisoner would be attacked with the punisher's greatest strength at contact with the area in which they were cut. So the muzzle cut back into Loki's jaw, infecting him with the curse. Then Odin chose you to be the punisher. You saw the scar, touched it, and the spell took it's course of action. And as the God of Thunder, lightening is your greatest strength when it comes to damage. Odin told me how to fix it in case of some emergency."

Thor felt like he had been hit with a planet.

 _He'd_ caused Loki's pain. All of that had been because of _him._

He wanted to throw up.

0o0o0o0

After what seemed like hours, after the shaking and spasming and blood and electricity, it finally ended.

He had felt like he was going to die, and just about accepted it when he had felt a sharp object cut his neck, generously missing his throat. While it hurt, it was nothing compared to what he just endured.

After the cut, he had felt like the electricity that had invaded his body was draining out of him, all his energy and strength leaving with it.

He was able just to open his eyes a small bit but couldn't make anything out. He closed them again, even the tiny gesture exhausted him. He heard ringing in his ears and his throat burned. His lungs ached from the lack of air and his tongue throbbed, still bleeding.

He noticed the edges of his vision getting darker, though his eyes were closed. It seemed fuzzy and blurry. His head swam. His body even felt _dead._

 _Was he dying? Was he already dead?_

Loki was scared.

He felt hands shift and then felt himself being handed to someone else. Then himself being laid in the persons lap, their arm supporting his head comfortably. The person cradled him close to them, as if he were a baby. And any other time he would mind this, but right now it's exactly what he needed.

He thought he heard talking, one voice sounding familiar and the other not. But he couldn't make out the words.

So he rehearsed his own.

 _Sunset. Following. Thor. Apples. Covers. Hiding. Laughing. Magic. Brothers._

He repeated the words until he fell asleep for the first time in days.

He felt safe and loved for the first time in years.


	12. After Effects

Thor now sat alone in silence, holding his little brother. Valnyr had gone back to his post and turned the walls back from windows, just in case Odin showed up so he could cover for them.

Thor never could have thought that the guard would be on their side after seeing how he treated Loki before.

But he understood now. And he was glad to have him as a friend.

Loki still was laid in his lap, unmoving and limp. But he looked peaceful and rested, unlike the convulsing nightmare he had been nearly an hour before.

Thor didn't move a muscle. He was afraid to wake the younger god up.

He closed his eyes, becoming tired himself. He only opened them when he felt Loki shift in his arms.

When he did, he saw that Loki's eyes were open. Not much, but still open.

He couldn't help himself and he smiled widely.

"Wha… What happened?"

Loki's voice sounded shaky and tired, and his words were slightly slurred from sleep. His sea green eyes stared up, looking deeply at Thor. Thor could see the trauma behind them, the shock from what had happened.

He stomach churned with guilt.

"You were placed under a spell. When I touched the scar from where you were cut by the muzzle, it somehow took my power and transferred it into you. Since my strength is in lightning, you were pretty much electrocuted... I'm so sorry brother..."

Loki looked confused at him, clearly still dazed and half asleep. His eyes kept closing and besides the one time he shifted, he had been completely limp. He stopped trying to open his eyes, and his breathing shallowed a bit. A concerned Thor tried to keep him awake.

"No, Loki. You have to keep your eyes open. I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake. Please?"

Loki opened his eyes fully this time, looking straight into Thor's.

"It wasn't your fault..." His words were even more slurred now.

"Loki, it was. I told you, the curse-"

"It was my fault... I deserved it."

Clearly having no filter to stop him at the moment, he kept on.

"I killed all those people… they didn't deserve it… I hurt those Avengers, your friends… they didn't deserve it… I betrayed you… you didn't deserve it… You see the pattern, big brother?… I do bad things to people who aren't deserving of them… Odin has every right to do this… I deserve worse… I'm a monster, a villain… not even because I'm a Frost Giant… because I'm me…"

Thought his words were becoming more slow and slurred each sentence, Thor made out all of it. Not thinking, he burst out.

"Don't say those things about yourself! You've made mistakes, yes, but so have I! So has Odin! And Frigga! You are not a monster, you are not a villain! You deserve the world, and you were denied even a family! No one deserves that!"

Loki flinched away at his words, and Thor realizes he had probably been too aggressive for his injured brother.

"I'm sorry… What I'm trying to say is that you don't deserve to be hurt both mentally and physically over and over again. You didn't deserve to be hurt all your life. But I was too big a fool to see what was happening to you. This is not your fault. You are my brother, and I love you."

This time, Loki smiled.

"Oh, big brother, you are still a fool. But I love you too. You are wrong about me, but I love you…"

They looked smiling at each other for a moment. But a moment never lasts.

Loki's expression changed quickly, his brows furrowed and his smile faded. His skin color turned two shades paler and he started shaking.

0o0o0o0

Loki woke, his head throbbing and his vision blurry. It took him a moment to figure out where he was. But he saw his brother above him, closing his eyes. Loki noticed he had been laid down in his arms, and tried to shift.

It used up all his strength immediately.

Thor opened his eyes and looked down at him, smiling widely.

"Wha… What happened?" His own voice sounded foreign to him, and he hadn't planned to say that. It just happened.

Thor's expression went dark. He looked guilty for some reason.

"You were placed under a spell. When I touched the scar from where you were cut by the muzzle, it somehow took my power and transferred it into you. Since my strength is in lightning, you were pretty much electrocuted... I'm so sorry brother..."

Loki didn't make out all of the speech, but had definitely heard a "sorry" at the end.

He felt increasingly tired, and closed his eyes. But he felt Thor jostling him. A wave of dizziness passed before he opened them again.

Then he felt himself talking, but he didn't hear what he was saying.

It was a weird experience. It didn't feel like he was a part of his body or his mind. He felt like he was floating above the scene, too high up to hear himself talking. His ears rung, too. It wasn't fun.

Suddenly, he heard Thor shouting. It brought him back down, and the voice boomed in his head. But it was more like vibrations and less like words. He didn't know what he did to make Thor so angry, but he flinched at the pounding pulses in his head that came with each word.

It ended, and he looked up. Thor looked slightly scared and sorry, Loki didn't know why. He had obviously said something to anger Thor.

 _Why was he so stupid?_

"I'm sorry… What I'm trying to say is that you don't deserve to be hurt both mentally and physically over and over again. You didn't deserve to be hurt all your life. But I was too big a fool to see what was happening to you. This is not your fault. You are my brother, and I love you."

This time, he heard every word. Loki didn't know exactly what had happened, but he had a good idea now. So, he responded. And he thought and heard himself this time too.

"Oh, big brother, you are still a fool. But I love you too. You are wrong about me, but I love you…"

It was nice being able to understand his own words and actions, his head was clear for a moment as him and Thor smiled at each other. But a moment never lasts.

All of a sudden, he felt a tremor in his chest. He frowned at it, not sure what it was. But it happened again, and this time it felt more like burning. His chest felt tight, and the scar on his jaw began to tingle.

His bones ached and it felt like jolts of electricity were brushing his skin. But they got closer to him, closer to his bones and his veins.

Then, he heard his brother yell an unfamiliar name.

0o0o0o0

"Valnyr!"

The guard rushed in immediately, and ran right over to the brothers. Loki had started coughing, and he was breaking out in a cold sweat.

"Lay him down."

Thor followed his orders.

Valnyr felt Loki's forehead, and then felt his pulse.

"He has a fever. I don't know what exactly is going on, but it seems like the lightning did some internal damage."

Loki had stopped coughing, but he started groaning and whimpering. It felt like he'd been set on fire, but he was somewhere very cold. His insides burned but his body was freezing.

He was still awake, and behind the pain Thor could see a bit of frustration behind his eyes.

 _Damn, why does he still worry about appearing weak?_

Loki looked at Thor in panic and pain.

Then his back arched and he shut his eyes tight, clenching his teeth. It felt as though an invisible spike had pierced him, and it sent as series of jolts through his arms and legs.

"It looks like there might be some residue stuck in him, but I don't want to cut him open again. He'll lose too much blood to be able to fight the after effects."

The spasm ended, leaving Loki still shaking. Thor almost wished his brother would go unconscious, so his pain would lessen a bit. But the young god stayed awake.

"We have to get him out of here somehow. He needs to be taken to a place where he can truly rest and be healed. If he stays here, I fear he will die. But we can't get him out of Asgard or Heimdall might alert Odin."

Thor thought for a moment.

"I don't think Heimdall will be a problem, he is a friend. And I'm sure he's been seeing all this play out and Odin hasn't come running. We just need a way to get to the Bifrost without being spotted."

"If you can take care of Heimdall, I can take care of getting through Asgard."

"How?"

Valnyr waved his hands over Loki and Thor, a mysterious blue mist washing over them.

"We're more alike than you thought. Abaylin used to practice magic. When he died, I took it up so I could feel a stronger connection with him. It's a type cloaking spell. I cannot see you right now, and no one else will be able to if you are quiet. If you make too much noise, the illusion will fade. So don't speak."

Thor nodded, only to remember that Valnyr couldn't see them.

"I can't do anything about Loki. You will have to carry him and keep him as quiet as possible. I would give him a spell to put him to sleep, but you need to keep him awake until he is being cared for. I will have to stay behind so Odin doesn't suspect anything, he won't want to see Loki so it shouldn't be a problem. Take care, friend."

Valnyr stood and walked out of the cell, going back to his post.

Thor was sad that he couldn't go with them, but he understood. He looked back at Loki.

His eyes were opened once again. Guessing he had heard the conversation, Thor made a gesture of picking him up then pointed at the door.

Loki nodded with difficulty, his head feeling like it was being pulled towards the ground.

As Thor prepared to go, he decided where he needed to get help.

He just didn't know if his brother would be welcomed.


	13. Escape from Asgard

**Hey guys! Just so you know, this is a pretty short chapter. But I'm going to try to get the next one out today or early tomorrow, so don't worry!**

 **Thank you all so much for liking my story! I love going to read your reviews when I'm down, it helps a lot**

 **Enjoy!**

Loki shook in Thor's arms as they exited the cell

The sight was very strange to the younger brother.

He had gotten so used to the unending white walls that all the objects and forms of the outside world almost hurt to look at. It had been so long that's his eyes didn't have to measure depth. He closed his eyes against the swaying, blurry sight of everything.

Thor shut the cell door behind him, startling Valnyr. He felt bad about leaving his newfound companion, but was eternally grateful that he saved Loki and was putting himself on the line to ensure they escaped safely.

He felt bad about assuming the man was a monster.

With one last look at him, Thor set off down the same winding, cold hall he had traveled before Loki had been imprisoned in the box. It made him shiver.

He looked down at his trembling brother, assessing his condition.

The young god was shaking violently, but seemed to be controlling his spasms. His lips were pressed together in a tight line, and his eyes were squeezed shut. Thor could see the glowing red underneath his scar, but it didn't spread like it had before.

Thor let out a sigh and tried to push his guilt away. He had to focus on getting Loki help.

He finally made it out of the corridor and into the dungeon. He suspected that there'd be guards outside, but if Valnyr's spell had worked they'd be safe. And Thor had faith in him.

Sure enough, the princes were able to slip past the guards undetected.

Now, they just had to make their way past Odin.

Thor slinked through the castle, making way to where the front door stood. But there also stood Odin's throne. And Thor could only assume the king would be there.

And as guessed, he was.

Odin sat staring at the ground, and seemed to be in deep thought. Thor resisted the urge to go up to the man and beat him for what he had done to his brother, and started making his way to the door rather quickly.

Which was a mistake.

He nearly tripped and caught himself, but not without jolting Loki and nearly dropping him. Loki had felt his ribs push in, which sent the electricity stuck in his body flying. He couldn't help it and he started convulsing, not being able to stop.

He went to cry out, but agains all of his brotherly instincts, Thor covered Loki's mouth with his hand. Knowing he was restricting his breathing, Thor quickly bolted out of the door as a guard came in from duty, nearly not making it.

There luckily wasn't another guard outside yet, so Thor removed his had from Loki's mouth. He'd stopped having spasms, and had held the cry in. He silently whimpered, trying his best to stop his body from moving too much. He looked up at Thor, and his watering green eyes begged for help.

Thor knew he didn't have much time, that Loki needed a place where he could relax and not hold the pain in so tightly. As much as it pained both of them, Loki needed to be able to let his body shiver and spasm as needed, or else it might cause bigger convulsions down the road that he wouldn't be able to come back from.

"Loki, I am sorry but I have to run. I fear we won't make it in time if I walk. Do you understand?"

Loki nodded and braced himself.

Thor held his brother tightly and started sprinting as fast as he could towards the Bifrost.

Loki was jerked around and swayed, causing the effects to act up again. This time, Thor didn't cover his mouth as he yelled out.

Their cover went down, and they were visible to Asgard.

Thor prayed that another guard wasn't on duty yet.

Finally, the brothers made it to the Bifrost, where Heimdall stood waiting next to the entrance. He didn't look surprised to see the princes approaching.

"Heimdall, we-"

"Shh. I know. I will not tell, but you need to hurry. Midgard, am I correct?"

"Yes. As close as you can to Stark Tower."

Without question, Heimdall went and opened the portal.

Thor nodded a silent "thank you" to him, not questioning the man's loyalty to him. He stepped through, his quivering brother still in his arms.

And apparently Heimdall got them very close to Stark Tower, more than Thor had anticipated. Because he appeared right on top of the tower, right outside Tony's window. And of course, Thor hadn't had time to think of how to explain his situation.

Loki had his eyes closed and was nauseous from the quick journey. He felt himself fading, not being able to hold consciousness any longer. But right before he was taken into sleep, he heard a semi-familiar voice.

"What in the hell…?"


	14. An Unexpected Reunion

Thor looked up to see the infamous Tony Stark. Or "Iron Man" as the humans liked to call him. He was looking back and forth between both brothers, mouth half open. He'd had a glass of wine in one hand, but had dropped it at what he was witnessing.

Loki had gone limp once again, though he still shivered. His dead limbs would jerk every few seconds, and he had gotten much paler. Thor knew he would have to explain what was going on to Tony, but Loki needed help first.

"I… We need help."

Tony gave him a suspicious look.

"Please, I'll explain later. But he won't last if we wait."

Tony paused for a minute before sighing in defeat.

"Follow me. Quickly."

Thor held Loki tightly and followed after Tony, who was walking quickly ahead of him.

They reached one of Tony's labs, and he had Thor put him on one of the clear tables. Luckily, it was long enough for Loki's tall frame to fit on.

Tony felt his head before rushing somewhere, then came back with a cold cloth and blankets. He put the cloth on his head and the layers of blankets on him. He left once more and came back with a pillow and four pairs of handcuffs.

"What are those for?" Thor said, gesturing to the cuffs. He definitely didn't like the idea of his sick brother being chained down.

"Well, for one, he threw me out of a window. Pardon me if I have trust issues. And secondly, he seemed a little spasm-y to me. Probably not a good idea for him to be throwing himself around while he's on a table."

Thor almost rolled his eyes at Tony's smart-mouth. But he also knew he was right, so he refrained from doing so.

Tony raised his eyebrows at him.

"Fine. Go ahead, you're right"

"Thank you."

Tony went over and gently lifted Loki's head, placing the pillow under it. Then, he cuffed his wrists and ankles to the table.

"Now, do you mind telling me what the hell's going on?"

0o0o0o0

Tony had been enjoying a nice glass of wine and fantasizing over his beautiful girl, Pepper. She had gone out of town for work, and he missed her sorely. So, he'd spend his day sitting alone.

Well, he thought he'd be alone.

He saw a giant beacon of light suddenly hit his deck, right in front of him. He turned his head away from it, the brightness of it blinding him.

Then it ended.

When he turned back, he saw a red cape hunched over something on the ground.

'Is that who I think it is?'

When he went outside to find out, he saw that he was correct.

 _Thor._

Then, the god straightened up, looking at him. And he saw there was someone accompanying him.

"What in the hell…?"

Tony dropped his glass of wine in shock at the sight.

In his arms was Loki, the God of Mischief. The man who had destroyed New York. The monster.

And he looked terrible.

He was shaking violently, and he had dark circles around his eyes. He was completely limp, despite the jerking of his limbs every few seconds. He was sweating profusely and he was even paler than usual. And there was a weird glowing red underneath a fresh-looking scar under his jaw.

He quietly repeated himself, this time more of a confirmation rather than a question.

"What in the hell…"

"I… We need help." Thor said, his voice sounding tired and worried.

Tony didn't know if he could trust this. This could be one of Loki's tricks, an illusion. The god had seemed nearly invisible, to be reduced to this seemed unlikely.

"Please, I'll explain later. But he won't last if we wait."

Tony looked at Loki once more, and thought of all he had done. But no one deserved to look like that. And besides, couldn't bear the pleading in the older god's voice. He sighed.

"Follow me. Quickly."

He power-walked to one of his labs, and gestured for Thor to put Loki on one of the clear tables in the room. Thor obeyed, and he laid his zombie-looking brother down.

Tony felt Loki's temperature, which was hotter than anyone else's he'd ever felt before. He felt that Loki was in a cold sweat, and analyzed that he was probably freezing. He went and grabbed some blankets and a cold rag, and placed them in their desired spots. Then he noticed that Loki's head jerked along with his limbs every now and then, which would end up giving him an even worse headache that he was probably experiencing already. He also saw that Loki's spasms would probably send him flying off the table in not too long. So he retrieved a pillow and four sets of handcuffs, which he knew Thor wouldn't be happy about.

"What are those for?"

Yup, he was right.

"Well, for one, he threw me out of a window. Pardon me if I have trust issues. And secondly, he seemed a little spasm-y to me. Probably not a good idea for him to be throwing himself around while he's on a table."

He sort of lied about the first point, he was getting less suspicious each time he looked at the younger brother. But his suspensions weren't completely clear yet. He needed an explanation.

"Fine. Go ahead, you're right."

"Thank you."

First, he went over and placed the pillow, being careful not to hurt Loki. He didn't know where the gentleness came from.

 _Shouldn't I be wanting to smash his head in the table right now?_

He silently laughed, despite himself.

Then, he placed the cuffs on his wrists and ankles, making sure not to do them too tightly but not too loosely.

He turned to Thor once his work was done.

"Now, do you want to tell me what the hell's going on?"

0o0o0o0

It was dark. Colors flashed under his eyelids. His head felt like it was going to explode. His ears rang. His body burned and spasmed. His fingers and toes tingled with electricity. He could barely breathe.

But he was still aware of everything going on around him.

Sure, every word echoed around in his head. But he could still understand. He just couldn't respond or control his movements.

 _Control._

He had no control. He was a prisoner in his own body. And no one knew.

He had heard "What in the hell…?" right before he lost true consciousness. Right before he lost control.

He was trying to figure out who's voice it was. He had heard it before…

He had also heard glass break, and it still echoed in the back of his mind.

"I…-"

 _I?_

"…-We need help."

 _That's better._

He could feel his brother's chest vibrate with every word, every breath. He could hear both of their hearts, which seemed to beat in sync.

There was a pause of outside noise. Loki could feel the tension but didn't know why it was there or who it was with.

"Please. I'll explain later, but he won't last if we wait."

 _Won't last…?_

He felt his heart speed up a bit, and that made the electricity inside him speed up. He jerked more violently and more often, and he tried to calm himself down.

But it was Thor who calmed him down when he held him tighter.

 _Thank you._

Another pause. A sigh.

"Follow me. Quickly."

Suddenly, he felt Thor stand. It felt like he went up way too fast and he kept going, even when Thor started to walk. Like he was flying out of his body and into the sky, no friction to stop him.

It ended when he felt his back touch a hard, metal surface.

He felt a hand of his forehead.

 _Not Thor's…?_

Then he heard footsteps retreating.

His body still convulsed, and his head hit the metal surface the few times his neck decided to join the spasming. It made his head pound and throb even worse, and each time it felt like bells were being rung loudly in his ears.

Then he felt blankets being laid on him, and a cold cloth on his forehead. The cloth helped, and while the blankets made him warm, they felt suffocating. But of course he couldn't say so.

Then he felt his head being lifted. It startled him, but the hand was gentle.

 _Still not Thor's, though…_

Then, he finally got sign his brother was still there.

"What're those for?"

That didn't sound good.

"Well, for one, he threw me out of a window. Pardon me if I have trust issues. And secondly, he seemed a little spasm-y to me. Probably not a good idea for him to be throwing himself around while he's on a table."

 _He threw me out of a window…_

Tony Stark.

That was who was there.

Loki's heart raced more, making his shake even more.

 _He hates me. He's going to hurt me. He wants me to suffer just like Odin._

"Fine. Go ahead, you're right."

 _No! What was he doing? It didn't sound good. Thor had disagreed with it at first, why was he now? Did Thor want him to suffer now too?_

He felt handcuffs clamp around his wrists and ankle, then heard them being attached to what he now knew was a table.

 _No… no… no…_

It kept repeating in his head. He felt even more imprisoned than he did before.

He barely heard what was said next.

"Now, you want to tell me what the hell is going on?"


	15. Dire Situation

**Hey guys! I am sooooo sorry for not updating in forever. I have school and mental health stuff taking place currently but I finally found some free time**

 **This chapter is really short, but I felt like this was the best place to leave off. And I'm really tired and want to sleep but I wantef to get a chapter out before I did.**

 **Thank you so much for still supporting me and reading my story! I never dreamed it'd get this much attention.**

 **Thank you again, enjoy! I'll try to post a new chapter very soon!**

Tony stood in front of Thor, waiting for his answer. Moments passed and Thor still stood quietly, biting his lip.

"Are you going to keep silently standing there like you can't decide what fast food to order? Because if you haven't noticed, I'm not a McDonalds cashier."

He knew Thor didn't understand, but he didn't care. He was getting more annoyed and slightly more concerned each minute, the only sounds were either Loki whimpering or the handcuffs clanking on the table.

At last, Thor spoke, his words carefully thought over.

"I know the other Avengers will have to get involved at some point, so it's no use hiding from them. We need to hide Loki from S.H.I.E.L.D, yes, but not our friends. So if you could assemble them here, then I will tell you."

Tony opened his mouth to protest, wanting answers now, but Thor stopped him.

"Please, Tony. I don't want to have to describe his punishment more than once."

Tony let Thor leave, guessing that the god needed some time to think and cope. But he decided to stay with the younger brother, not feeling safe to leave him alone.

He wasn't sure if he felt unsafe because this might be another scheme or if he felt unsafe because Loki looked like the embodiment of agony.

The longer he looked at the helpless god, he gave in and let his emotion decide on the latter.

He reasoned that Loki would never make himself look this weak in from of Thor, much less him. And in his right mind he would think that Tony wouldn't want to help him.

But he was because Loki was really hurt, and it wasn't a trick.

He pulled up a chair next to him, just a few inches away. Loki's eyes were still closed, but the spasms had stopped. He still shook, but he seemed to become less tense and more relaxed.

He was finally passing out.

And after a few more minutes, the god's body went limp once again as the attack passed.

What Tony thought he'd see was the shell of the powerful God of Mischief who had once tried to take over Earth.

But he saw the shell of a boy who was broken and lost, who turned love away in fear of appearing weak. A boy who was enduring a nightmare.

0o0o0o0

Loki thought he had heard voices echoing, but they became more distorted and distant. The damned ringing in his ears hadn't stopped, and only seemed to be getting louder.

He could barely feel the burning now. He just felt numb. Exhausted...

He wanted so badly to sleep, to _escape._

He wanted Thor. He wanted Frigga. He almost even wanted Odin.

He tried to keep his thoughts clear, but they kept speeding up and getting mixed with different thoughts.

 _Where's Thor? Why am I so cold? But I'm on fire too. Fire made of ice. Ice made of fire. Something. It was something. It was torture. I want to die. I want to live. I don't know. I want it to end, but how? What do I do? What does Thor do? What does Tony do? Will they kill me? Do they hate me as I do myself? Too tired. Too far. Want rest. Want brother. Please…_

He felt himself slipping, and he was afraid that he was dying. He wouldn't rule it out. But this didn't feel like death creeping up behind him, ready to embrace him in a cold, tight grip. No, it was relaxing.

Like falling into a deep slumber. He felt heavy and smothered, like warm water was surrounding him. It was hard to breathe but it felt so good at the same time.

So, he decided to welcome it.

As he faded, he thought he could feel a presence next to him.

 _Not Thor…_

He realized sleepily that it must be Tony, but the presence felt comforting and friendly. Not violent or hostile.

 _Keep me safe… please… don't let Odin get me… please…_

And then everything that occupied his mind and body disappeared.


	16. Avengers Assemble

**Ahhhhh I'm so mad at myself**

 **I'm soooo sorry for not updating, my creativeness left me for a few weeks**

 **I'll try to write as much as I can while it's still with me**

 **Thanks for still reading!**

The Avengers sat in Tony's living room, having no idea what they were doing there. All they had been told was that Thor was there and it was urgent.

So they waited in silence until Tony and Thor walked back into the room after leaving to "discuss things".

Thor stood in front of them, while Tony hovered near the door. He looked worried and he kept looking back out the door, as if he had something he needed to check on.

After a few moments of pretty awkward silence, Thor finally took a deep breath and spoke.

"Now, I've had Tony call you all here because I need help with something. Well, I don't really need help, but L… but someone who is close to me does. But before I can tell you all the reason I'm speaking to you now, you have to promise me something."

The heroes all looked around at one another, confused and suspicious looks on their faces.

"I need you to promise me that no matter who it is that needs help, you'll put any differences aside at least until they're better. Can you do that for me?"

There was a pause, but sure enough everyone nodded. Well, mostly everyone. Barton just kept staring at Thor, waiting for him to continue. Thor feared that the archer knew that it was Loki who was involved.

"Okay, good. There's really no easy way of saying what happened, but it is my… my brother who needs your help…"

Sure enough, Barton was up in an instant. He started making movement towards the door, but Tony stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Barton stared at him incredulously.

"Wait, you _knew_? You know this is _Loki_ , right? The guy who tried to kill us?"

"Yes, I know. But you need to let Thor explain. You know I wouldn't have called you here if it wasn't bad. Just bite the bullet and listen."

Clint hovered by the door for a minute, but then let out a huff and went to sit back down. Steve and Banner looked like they were still processing what was going on around them, and Romanoff was clenching and unclenching her fists.

Thor was a little more uneasy now, but he knew there was no way around saying what needed to be said.

"Thank you… So, I'll just start at the beginning. When Loki and I arrived in Asgard, something had happened with the muzzle. It had gotten stuck, somehow, and it had cut his mouth. I was able to get off, though. When we met with my father, he decided that Loki's punishment would be that of many trials. There was a cell that manipulated his mind, it wouldn't let him sleep and during the first trial it seemed to close in around him, though the walls didn't truly move. Odin decided that I would be allowed to visit Loki on occasion. After I had visited him once, the second trial commenced and seemingly put him into a trace. When he didn't come out of it, I got worried and went in to check on him. Then, I saw a scar from the muzzle, which had cut him again when a guard tried to put it on. When I touched it… he…"

Thor got choked up, which was something the others had never seen in him before. They had never realized how much his little brother meant to him, no matter how evil he was.

"… Something bad happened. My father had cursed the muzzle so when I touched where it had cut him, my power transferred into him. Since he is not accustomed to the lighting like I am, it hurt him… It really hurt him…"

He paused for a moment and the room was filled with complete silence. It was like no one was even breathing.

Steve looked sorry and pitiful. The man had true compassion no matter who was suffering. Loki would hate to be looked at like that…

Bruce looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to figure out how it happened and how it would feel. He still looked concerned, though…

Natasha's emotions seemed to be hidden completely, something she was good at. She just stared blankly ahead…

Clint seemed to be trying to copy Romanoff's expressionless cover, but Thor could've sworn he saw a hint of glee in his eye. As if he was saying "that's what he deserves"…

Tony looked surprised, having not known what was going on earlier. He looked more worried and kept glancing out the door and down the hall, as if he was keeping an eye on Loki…

Thor watched each of his friends's reactions, trying to deduce whether they would help or not. Or even if they'd make things worse…

He was just about to speak when they heard a scream.

0o0o0o0

Loki had felt the presence of Stark leave a while ago, and he kept waiting for it to return. Or at least some kind of presence… anyone would do.

He could feel his body now, and he was able to move. He didn't much because it sent a jolt of pain through him, it had even once triggered a small attack. But it hadn't gotten bad again.

The things that bothered him most was the silence and the handcuffs. He would try to shift slightly but they would tug on him. The more he stayed still, the more he felt the need to move. He soon felt bruising around his wrists and ankles.

He wanted to speak, to fill the quiet with something, but his throats felt raw from yelling and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. But he kept trying, and soon he was able to get sound out.

"Th…r"

He tried to say his brother's name, but he could barely move his jaw and when he did, it made the scar burn.

 _Oh well, it was something._

Now, to try and open his eyes.

He didn't want to push his luck of not being electrocuted at the moment, but he also didn't want to miss an opportunity of being in control of his body.

His eyelids felt even heavier than his tongue, but he got them open halfway.

The white walls around him were blinding, but the edges of his vision were incredibly dark. Everything blurred and swirled, and dots of color danced around.

He was content for a moment before his mind caught up with him.

 _White walls…_

He was in the box again.

This was another trial.

Odin was tricking him.

He hadn't escaped.

 _Oh no oh no oh no oh no…_

Loki tried to get his mind to stop racing, but it didn't work. His heart rate leapt and he could feel himself shaking.

 _No no no no…_

He felt the shock building up, but his fear was somehow able to block it out and keep it at bay. He felt the burning, but he wasn't convulsing. He was still in control, but he almost wished he wasn't. He wanted to drift away and believe he was okay again…

He was finally able to find his voice and he screamed. For anyone or anything.

He just needed it to end.


	17. A Hostile Form

When Thor rushed into where he left his little brother, he was greeted by a sight he was not expecting.

Instead of spasming limbs and streaks of lightning assaulting his younger brother, Loki laid still and quiet.

And _awake._

It was a sight that shocked both Thor and Tony, who had seen Loki's state earlier. This was the first time the god had been conscious and not screaming.

Thor approached his brother cautiously, as if his presence would cause the electricity to act up. But an attack still didn't come.

But his relief didn't last long.

As he got closer, he noticed something was definitely off. He thought maybe Loki's scream had been in surprise or fear of not knowing where he was. But it seemed like Loki truly _didn't know where he was._

He got into his brother's sight, but Loki's eyes didn't fix on him. They were instead glazed over and unseeing. They darted around the room, as if searching for something. His brilliant green eyes seemed even more colorful in contrast to the dark red circles surrounding them.

They were filled with raw fear, and they were tear-filled. In his most vulnerable state, Loki wasn't able to hide himself. This was the truest form of the young god. The form that let emotions flow freely.

He was about to say something, he didn't know what. Just _something_ , when Barton pushed his way forward to Loki.

"Enough with the act, are you all blind? This is a powerful _god_. Even those stupid trials or whatever couldn't do something like this to him! You can't let him deceive you, it's just a magic trick!"

Before Thor could utter anything or make a move to stop him, Clint bashed his hands down on Loki's shoulders.

That's when Loki's eyes fixed upwards on Barton. They were still unfocused, but he had reacted to the touch.

"That's enough! Even if you _are_ hurt, why would I care? You made me try to kill my friends! You deserve this…"

He started beating his hands down on Loki's chest, and that's when the god's eyes became sharp and aware.

"Stop!"

Thor launched himself at Clint, throwing him off his defenseless brother. He landed roughly into the wall across the room.

Before he could make his way to make his next attack, Loki started coughing.

Hard.

0o0o0o0

Loki kept looking at the white walls, trying to find a hint to whether he was in the box again or not. He was confused, there were tables and windows, but the same blinding and unending walls.

He felt like he was spinning. The black edges of his vision threatened to take over, and the dots of color were getting sharper, but he wouldn't give in.

He _couldn't_ give in. He wanted to so bad.

All of a sudden, there was a form above him.

But it wasn't solid, and it seemed to glitch in and out of existence. It stretched and whirled so that he couldn't keep his eyes trained on it. It felt familiar but he couldn't make out the blurry, nearly transparent, disorienting shape.

After a few moments of the form hovering above him fizzed out and was replaced with a different form.

This one moved more quickly and it jerked around instead of swirling. It didn't feel friendly like the last presence did. This one felt hostile.

It scared him.

Then, he felt two hands crash down onto his shoulders. It felt like they had broken his bones, and he could feel the burning sensation form around the touch. He wanted to yell, but he couldn't. His arms felt like they were going to snap off his body at any moment.

The form became more of a solid shape, but it was still blurred and see-through. He could keep his eyes trained on one area now instead of trying to follow the different wisps of color that had been floating around the room. But he still couldn't make out who or what it was.

Now, he could even hear what sounded like a voice. And though the silence had been terrible, he wished it would come back. The voice was yelling, and in comparison to the previous quiet, it felt like it was going to break his ears. It echoed around in his head, and got louder with each word.

Then, the worst of it.

He suddenly felt fists slam into his chest, over and over again. He could feel his ribs crack and break, but he didn't know if it was real or in his head.

The pain brought him back into his mind.

Barton was leaned over him, crashing his hands onto his chest. Thor suddenly came into view and threw the archer off him, and he heard a crash from the other side of the room. The Avengers were off to the side, nearly out of the line of his vision.

He was almost relieved until his chest spiked with pain and he started coughing, unable to breathe.

He tried to inhale, but it felt like liquid was blocking his airway. It felt like he was drowning.

Stark and Banner appeared over him, as well as Thor before his brother was pulled to the side. He knew the pair looking at him were doctors, but he just wanted his brother.

He only started coughing harder as the two Avengers carefully examined him, and he could feel himself fading away. He saw a weird tube attached to a big machine right before his world went dark.

But before it all went away, he could hear a familiar voice whisper in his ear.

"Sunset. Following. Thor. Apples. Covers. Hiding. Laughing. Magic. Brothers."


	18. Live or Die? Live or Die?

**IIII'mmmm a terrrriblllee perrrsonnnn**

 **Oh gosh where do I begin... so so so sorry... haven't posted in like a month... whoops...**

 **IM SO SORRY PLEASE ENJOY**

Loki was once again asleep, unaware of what was happening in the world around him. He had been hooked up to a ventilator, that had been provided by Tony.

When asked why he had it, Tony simply said he didn't want to talk about it.

Thor had questioned the machine, afraid it would do more harm to his brother. But after both Tony and Bruce insisted that it would help him, he agreed.

It was hard to catch all the information in the moment, but what Thor understood was that Loki's organs had been damaged from the electricity. When Barton had approached him and started being violent, the hostility created severe anxiety in Loki, which caused the electricity to fester and prepare for another attack. When Clint started hitting Loki's chest, the damage that had already been done increased as the electricity targeted his chest. With both the lightning and hitting, it caused some minor internal bleeding.

They were able to conclude that the injuries would be able to fix themselves, as long as Loki was taken care of right.

After the rush of the moment was over and Loki was okay, all attention was turned towards the cause of the mess.

 _Barton._

"How dare you attack my brother in that way! Can you not see that he is defenseless? You're actions were unprovoked, cruel, and unfair! I wish you not to be within sight of me or my brother ever again."

It took all of his strength not to just go over and kill the archer, but Thor was able to get his point across.

Clint shakily stood and made his way out the door, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. Tony, Steve, and Natasha followed him.

"I'm sorry."

Thor turned when he heard the words spoken by Banner. His friend.

"Barton had no reason to act that way, even if he and Loki have bad blood. Hell, we all have issues with him, including you. But I promise I'll take care of him for you. I'm sure at least Steve will, too."

Before Thor could respond, all of Bruce's attention was turned back to the younger god as he tested his temperate and blood pressure.

Thor wasn't sure if he had ever been more grateful for the doctor.

0o0o0o0

"Okay, what the absolute hell was that!?" Tony shouted.

Clint started at his feet, expressionless. Meanwhile, Steve seemed to still be processing the event and Natasha started to let some emotion go.

"I know what he did to you, but that was not the right way to handle things."

Clint finally broke as he heard Natasha, the one person he thought would stand by him, oppose what he'd done.

"Not the right way to handle things? He nearly destroyed the whole city! He killed so many people! He deserves everything coming to him."

"Get out of here."

Everyone turned to Steve.

"What?"

"You heard me. Leave. You're being unstable and you're not thinking straight. You can come back once Loki is better... Maybe."

Clint's jaw gaped open.

"Maybe...?"

"The actions you've shown are not one of an Avenger. Definitely not one of a hero. Just go."

And he did.

0o0o0o0

It was cold. Colder than he'd ever been.

Then why did he feel like he was on fire?

He couldn't breathe but he did. He felt the air go in and out of his lungs, but it wasn't him.

It hurt.

 _In. Out. In. Out. Sunset. Following._

He felt numb but pained at the same time.

 _Inhale. Exhale. Thor. Apples._

He tried to move. It did not work.

 _Live or die? Live or die? Covers. Hiding._

He knew where he was. Or did he? No... he did not.

 _Stop. Stop. Laughing. Magic._

He knew who he was. Or did he? No...

 _Stay awake. Stay awake. Brothers._

Did he? No...

"No..."


	19. Awake at Last

Sorry this is a shorter chapter but I was really determined to get something out before I go to bed. I'm feeling a lot better and now that it's summer, I have more free time! So get ready because I'm feeling creative again! Also, thank you so much for the kind messages. It really means a lot that you guys do care for me as a real person and I'm not just seen as a random girl who writes stories. Thank you guys

Now on with the story (finally)!

Thor stood next to Loki, just staring. It had been a week since Clint had attacked him, and they hadn't seen him since. Loki still hadn't woken up, either.

He looked down at his little brother. He seemed so helpless and small, so broken. He longed to see his beautiful green eyes again.

Now that things had quieted down and everyone had space to think, things had gotten tense. Thor spent nearly every second with Loki. Tony spent most of his time alone, reflecting on his quick and maybe unreliable decision to help the brothers. Bruce left because he started to feel stressed out about the whole situation, and Natasha had explained that she didn't feel like she could help, so she left with him.

So Tony and Thor waited alone. Tony wasn't sure if he wanted the powerful god to wake up, and Thor just wanted his brother back.

And so time went on.

0o0o0o0

A week later is when it all happened.

Loki was stable, the ventilator had been removed because his body had healed enough to keep him in a well-enough condition. But he remained handcuffed to the table. Tony told Thor that it was so he didn't hurt himself if something happened, but in hall honesty he was more worried about Loki hurting them.

Thor had fallen asleep in the makeshift bed he had made in the lab. Tony had just woken up and was enjoying his coffee in the kitchen. A nice, quiet, usual morning.

Then Loki started to stir.

It was just a bit at first. A turn of the head, a twitch of the arm. Then he opened his eyes.

 _Where... what...?_

He looked around. He wasn't fond of the plain white walls he saw before him.

 _No I can't be back there... I got out...?_

While he was a little panicked, he didn't let it get out of control. Until he tried to sit and found himself locked down.

The heart rate monitor picked up and the god tried to free himself. The more he moved the dizzier he got, but he didn't care. He just wanted _out._

Now it was Thor's turn to wake up. As he came about, he heard the rapid beating of the machine. He immediately jumped up and ran over to his brother.

He almost fainted when he saw two perfectly sea green eyes staring back at him. The only thing keeping him from jumping for joy was Loki's panicked and scared expression.

"Brother, you're awake! But what's wrong? Can you tell me?"

Loki just couldn't seem to find his tongue. Everything felt weird and slow, so he nodded towards his chained wrists.

It took a moment, but Thor understood. He was euphoric from seeing that his little brother was awake, but he was still very worried that things weren't as good as they seemed. Loki had taken a huge toll, and it seemed too easy for him just to wake up.

Realizing that he had just been standing there thinking, he quickly apologized to his brother.

"I'm sorry, I'll- I'll go get Tony, he'll help you!"

Before he could see his brother's worried reaction to Tony's name, Thor ran out of the room and to the kitchen.

"Tony! Tony, Loki is awake! He needs let out of the chains. He's better!"

Tony spit out his coffee and stared at him.

"Wait... what?"

"Come on!"

Tony sat there as Thorn turned to go back.

"Wait- Thor!"

He ran over and stopped him.

"We need to think about this. What if he goes into weird-seizure mode again? He could really hurt himself. And... I don't know. What if he tries to... do something?"

Thor looked at him incredulously.

"What are you implying, Stark? I told you, he's doing better. He just wants to be able to move! He's scared and he was already imprisoned once."

Tony stood there, his heart and mind racing. For the first time in a while, he truly didn't have any idea what to do. He couldn't trust the god after what he had done. But Thor had a point about the imprisonment. But Loki killed many people and took control of his friend. But Thor wouldn't listen to reason.

At last, Tony decided that Loki wasn't in any condition to try and take on Thor and himself and he really needed Thor to be able to trust him. If he didn't free Loki, Thor would do it by force, anyway.

So, it was finally time to begin the next stage of dealing with this mess.

Because right in the other room, there was a young, powerful, injured, scared god with a very protective older brother and a knack for magic.


	20. Weak

**Hey guys, so sorry for the wait! I'm sorry this chapter is kinda short, I just thought it'd lead nicely into what I have planned for the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

Tony entered the lab, trying to hold his composure. Thor followed closely, still in a daze from the excitement of his brother being awake.

As they entered, Loki slowly turned his head to look at them. He couldn't move too much too fast, his head was still spinning and everything felt awkward.

He was slightly shocked to see Tony. Part of him knew that he was Tony's care, but another part of him said that he'd never open his home to him.

But there he was, cautiously moving forward with what seemed to be the key to the cuffs.

Loki looked back up to the ceiling, trying to find a witty remark to make. He felt uncomfortable being so vulnerable, he hated it. But he still couldn't find his tongue and his brain was in shambles.

Tony made the rest of his way over to the young god and looked down on him, authority but a hint of uneasiness in his eyes.

"Okay, I'm going to unlock these. Don't try anything funny, we both know you're not strong enough to take both of us on and I have the rest of the Avengers on speed dial in case you decide to pull something. And while you're here you're under my rule. Got it?"

Since Loki was lacking words right now, he just nodded. He didn't like the fact that Tony was this confident, but he understood it. He did bad things and hurt people, he knew Tony wouldn't exactly be warm to him.

Tony gave him a confirming look before he bent down and unlocked the cuffs. Loki tried to sit up slowly, he didn't like the feeling of vulnerability that came with laying down. But as soon as he got halfway, he faltered a bit. A wave of dizziness and pain came over him and he started falling back with a grunt.

But to his utter surprise, Tony caught him and helped him sit up. Loki muttered a small "thanks" and looked around the room. His brother was eagerly standing by the doorway, watching his brother's progress. Loki looked at the walls, not liking how much they reminded him of his old cage. But the initial panic of the resemblance was over with.

"Here, I'll bring you to the living room and then I'll set up a room for you."

Loki was slightly shocked at the small amount of sincerity in the sentence, not detecting the sarcasm that usually came with Stark's statements.

Tony gestured to Thor and they got in either side of him. They put his arms around his shoulders and helped him walk to the living room. Well, they more _carried_ him. He didn't have enough strength and balance to even _walk._ Loki hated himself for feeling weak.

"So, you two wait here and I'll get things ready. Just, stay put, okay?"

And with that, Thor and Loki were left alone. Two brothers in an unthinkable situation.


	21. Unthinkable Situation

Thor and Loki sat alone in the living room, in silence. Thor because of his relief, and Loki because of his fatigue.

Thor looked at Loki, but the young god avoided his gaze. It was almost as if he'd been reborn in a way, everything just felt _off_.

Finally, Thor broke the silence.

"So, how are you feeling, brother?"

Loki truly didn't know how to even begin to try to answer that question. He didn't feel physical pain, just a weird dull pain in general. Everything seemed to be slowed down, and it was like he could feel Midgard turning.

So, he did what he knew. He lied.

"I... I feel fi-fine..." Loki stuttered.

With his tired voice and trouble speaking, he wasn't as convincing as he normally would be. But Thor seemed to take the answer.

"That is good."

They sat in silence once again.

"I'm just so glad you're okay. I know you hate all the love-y stuff, but hear me out." Thor began, "You had be petrified. Everything's still a blur but all I know is that you were dying. And I felt a way I hadn't felt before. I felt true fear."

Loki didn't know what to say to that. Thor was right, he didn't like "love-y stuff", but for the first time ever, "love-y stuff" felt okay. After being in that limbo between life and death, Loki didn't know what to think anymore.

Everything had changed...

0o0o0o0

Tony walked around the extra room, making sure everything was set in place. He didn't know why he was trying to make an effort, but he just went along with it. He made sure to put the two gods' rooms near each other, so Thor could either fight or comfort Loki. He truly didn't know what the circumstances would be when Loki got his strength up.

 _If_ he got his strength up.

Tony was no doctor, but he knew enough to know that Loki would be having a very hard time on the road to recovery. Hell, he might not even survive the road to recovery if it was going to be anything like what had happened before.

Maybe that's why he was making an effort. Maybe his subconscious was telling him that Loki might not make it too long.

But at the same time, Loki had killed so many people.

Tony felt so conflicted. Is this a villain, his friends' brother, or just misunderstood. Or all three? He didn't know, his head was reeling from all the stress that he decided to let it go for now.

Go with the flow, as they say.

0o0o0o0

Tony and Thor supported Loki as they laid him down in the bed.

Tony had set up the room to be secure, he'd even put some cameras up, but he decided not to mention that to the brothers.

What seemed like only a second after they laid him down, Loki was fast asleep. The young god still wasn't looking too good. Too pale, dark purple-red circles around his eyes, and his breathing wasn't even.

Tony feared a fever might develop, so he decided to research symptoms and signs of different sicknesses. He just wanted to be prepared, and he didn't have anything better to do.

Thor stayed with his little brother, watching over him. Honestly, Tony was very happy about that. Keep an eye on Loki, and not have anyone in his way while he worked.

While he tried to tell himself it was all going good, an underlying fear was there. He didn't know why, but part of him truly wanted to help Loki. He felt 'bad' for him.

Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he was getting sick.

He refused to believe he felt something like that for someone he hated.

For someone he _thought_ he hated.

0o0o0o0

Thor sat by his brother's side, gazing down at him. His heart ached for him. No matter what Loki did, he was still his baby brother.

The way Loki was curled up made him look younger than he already was, he looked like a kid.

Thor remembered once when they were children and Loki got sick. He stayed with him the whole time and did everything to help him feel better. Frigga would sleep on the floor, always there for her baby.

Thor put his hand on his brother's back, like he did back then. He could feel the unsteady breaths, which made his heart ache even more.

A few hours past, and Thor started to feel himself drift off. He laid his head down on the bed and closed his eyes.

He remembered sitting with Loki that one night, the best night of his childhood. Eating the apples and watching the sunset.

He wished to go back in time and live that moment forever.

He fell asleep remembering the happiness that his family once had.


	22. In Sickness and In Health

Loki woke up slowly. His head was spinning and his whole body seemed to ache. It took a moment to get his bearings, but once he did, he noticed the presence of his brother resting his head on the bed.

Loki surprised himself by smiling a little bit at the scene. It reminded him of when he got sick when he was little.

But Thor started to stir and Loki hid his emotions again. He had to guard himself.

Thor lifted his head tiredly and looked around for a moment, for a minute startled that he wasn't in his room. Then he saw his brother looking at him.

He had be scared that it had all been a dream. That his brother was still unconscious.

But here he was, awake. Or half awake. Loki's eyes were unfocused and he didn't seem much himself. Thor wasn't sure why at first, but then he realized it was because he could see the emotion behind them. His eyes betrayed his expression, Loki was too weak to conceal them.

Then, Loki's eyes drifted around the room, the unfamiliar setting. His eyes changed from hazy melancholy to pained and panicked. His breathing picked up, and he tried to push himself from the bed.

"Woah, woah there, brother. It's alright. You're safe."

Loki looked at him for a moment, trying to decide to trust him or not. In the end, he laid back down and stared at the ceiling.

"Do you remember what happened?" Thor asked quietly, not sure what answer he wanted.

"Bits a pieces, here and there. I don't remember much visually, it's more emotionally..." Loki whispered hoarsely. He didn't want to betray his illusion he wore so often, but he just couldn't deny it...

He was _scared._

Tears threatened to leak as he reluctantly decided to continue.

"I just... remember the _pain._ But not anywhere specific, not part of me. Like all of my being is just a cloud. I can't touch, or speak, or breathe. Everything floats..."

Loki trailed on, but as he did, he fell more in the memory. And he didn't want to be there. He couldn't control his words, they didn't make sense even to him.

"It's freezing and burning. I can feel the choke of the thick water around my neck. But I don't have a neck... I just _am._ A cloud, floating and spiraling... over and over and over-"

He felt himself panicking again, his vision going darker. It was like looking down a tunnel. He could hear Thor's voice faintly through, but he fell.

Once again he couldn't touch, or speak, or breathe. He just _was._

0o0o0o0

Tony ran to Loki's room as he heard Thor shouting. He had checked the cameras just a few moments ago, and everything seemed fine and safe. But now there was a god yelling his name.

As he burst through the door, he didn't understand what was wrong. Loki seemed just to be asleep.

But as he got closer, he could see the look of distress on both brothers' faces.

He tentatively put the back of his hand to Loki's head and immediately jumped at the amount of heat radiating off him.

 _There's no way his temperature could be that high, could there?_

Tony decided not to question it and just get to work, it might be a god thing.

He got as many ice packs he could carry and placed them on and around Loki. Then, he quickly phoned Banner and Natasha, knowing he was going to need all the help he could get and they were the only two he truly trusted to handle any Loki or Thor situation at the moment.

Knowing they'd take a while, Tony did all he could to get Loki cooled off. Thor was keeping his head, helping where he could.

Then, all they could do was wait.

0o0o0o0

By the time Natasha and Bruce had gotten to Stark Tower, Loki had only gotten worse. Tony couldn't judge his temperature, he just knew it really wasn't normal.

He knew they couldn't take him to a hospital, not without tons of notice and exposure. It would just make everything more complicated and confusing than it already was.

He'd tried convincing himself this was all a weird dream after having too much to drink, but whenever he woke up the god of mischief and his protective big brother were still in one of his guest rooms.

His two colleagues didn't ask many questions, just got to work. They understood Tony was stressed about how to handle the situation, so they just worked with him until Loki was healthy enough to judge him.

One thing was for sure...

This was a very strange year.

0o0o0o0

Everything was cold. But it was also hot.

A description used too many times in his mind.

He could hear voices at the end of the tunnel. Another man, and a woman.

It almost sounded like his mom.

He missed her.

All he wanted was her arms around him, telling him he was so strong, like she always did when he got ill.

He decided to focus on that.

It brought him the little peace it could.

The little comfort of innocence and family.

Something he felt he lost long ago.


End file.
